It Ended Badly

Beez Neez
Skipper and First Mate Millard (Big Bear and Pepe)
Sun 5 Apr 2015 22:57
A Productive Week That Ended So, So Very Badly
 
 
 
 
 
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A sunny afternoon trip ashore saw Baby Beez parked next to a little girl nearly full of water, as I stood back to take the picture I once again had loathing for how the chain and rope look so messy and when Bear drops the chain in the bottom, it makes an awful ‘thunking’ noise. Home I went with a design in mind, any previous ideas met with negativity from the skipper so I kept quite and began cantering on my trusty steed. Next launch from her side-dangling-overnight-hoisted-position-to-keep-her-bottom-clean, I hopped in and fitted the new chain bag that can be opened and closed to stay out of the way and vented at the bottom for no sogginess. Not only did the captain oo and arr but suggested he add little clips so the side strings are neatened up. I’ll take that as praise then. Bear shot off for bread and on his return told me that not only did the new system work well for the chain but the tether rope as well and it held the said loaf on the return journey.
 
 
Zimmer  Captain Bear
 
I, at this point pictured him driving a Zimmer frame complete with front hanging shopping basket. Thank you very much........You’re welcome. Well I could always compound the image by using the wonderful Reynolds cartoon of a certain sea captain............ Thanks again. No problem.
 
 
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We borrowed the marina insurance shop car to go shopping, by way of a change and for the first time in four weeks I found myself bimbling around our favourite Warehouse and then onto the supermarket. Bear needed fuel for the generator and fill the diesel cans in readiness for the last of their new jackets. As a treat I asked himself to gather a few scoops of fresh green-lips – he came back with a kilo bag. Later, I filled my big pan with water, added a goodly squirting of lemon juice, salt and a smidging of horseradish. The skipper settled to his feast with a chunk of French stick and the Butterly pot. As he slavered through the stack of mussels he kept finding co-habiting lady crabs laden with eggs. They add a lovely crunch. Oh my. Would you like to try one. How many times in the past have I stated that I would rather chew my way through my own flip-flops........... That’s a no then......... Don’t make me hurt you.....
 
 
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I took my own picture of the only blue-lip I had. Yes dear......
 
 
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I looked through the window to admire all the finished can covers and commented how some of them needed a couple of pounds of sugar in their hems to coax them down. Mid muttering and gnashing of teeth, himself went out and laboured over the adjustments, well I do need Beez to show full smartness and a clean pair of heels.........
 
 
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It was only February the eighth that Maj of Scott-Free set a new Mexican train record of 728. Well one day this week Bear smashed that effort with a hefty 772. The picture above shows me with just one modest chap post tap. On the other side of the table Bear was seen to be in possession of twenty two men. Cross as a wasp was I when I couldn't finish and began collecting men – only to lose, gaining a negative seventy five in the process.
 
 
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Shopping bag repaired, trouser pocket fixed, I’m pleased to report that the sewing jobs are nearing an end. I felt the need to dig out my supply of fluffy stuff and tart up my favourite big-ball fender. Not a moment too soon, judging by the old one – it just goes to show how the sun bleaches anything in her way. Your knicker elastic as well by the sagginess of your Bridget Jones specials. Have you ever seen anyone throw a yoghurt fixer with such angry force. Bear has.
I’m just saying.
Run Bear, Run.
I thought you wanted me to pose with the new cover....... Why don’t the two of you go hang yourself from the left side granny bar for the afternoon ???? I’ll just slip along then. Good idea.
 
 
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My final job in the Zandra Rhodes School of Design for Boat Covers was the Hydrovane and Beez Sting jacket. Things in the table-cum-cockpit-edging-varnishing-line have followed a nice pattern and each dry morning Bear has lightly sanded and I have added a coat. The sixth and final coat happened this morning.
 
 
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I went out later this afternoon to check on my finish, ready to call the skipper for final sign-off on a job well done. SHOCK HORROR. I’d heard him scruffing about on deck. I had not heard him removing the two wooden plates that when screwed together as a sandwich over the back rails support the locked-to outboard engine when not in use. I had forgotten that I had asked for their removal as they looked scruffy against the shiny stuff. He appeared at my outward expletives. Not only had he not asked for help, not only did he not use my trusty draining board mat as a protector to my new varnish but he hadn’t fessed up..........But it only happened fifteen minutes ago.......... Am I supposed to take that as a lame apology. To add insult to injury he had sneaked a bit of varnish in the half inch gash. Steam started to rise from every hair follicle I possess.........Mrs. Mallard left the near vicinity.
 
 
 
 
 
ALL IN ALL I’M GOING TO BURY MY VARNISH BRUSHES AT SEA
                     HOW DEEP HAVE I SUNK......
                     I’m too bloody cross to answer that