Beez Neez now Chy Whella

Valve = Haul

Big Bear and Pepe Millard

Fri 13 Mar 2015 15:07

A Dodgy Toilet Valve Brought About an Impromptu Haul Out

Lying in bed just coming to at around seven-ish, I usually find Bear reading the BBC news. This morning was no different, no sooner than my eyes snapped open than he submits to the habit of proceeding to tell me the main stories whether I want to hear them or not. Later, he switches on the radio at about ten to eight ready to listen to the eight o’clock cruisers net. Wayne came on today as net controller - Friday is his slot, and after asking for any priority traffic, getting listening boats to log in, Bear always thrusts the radio at me to say “good morning Beez Neez”, Wayne then warned us all that the weather section would come last as it was a long report. We listened to the usual features such as treasures of the bilge, crew needed, lost or found and then came the weather warning that Cyclone Pam may cause severe conditions here in the bay on Sunday night. Wayne gave us lots of tips and helpful advice as well as his experiences in Cyclone Bola back in 1988. How pitch black it was, the nose of his boat bucking under the water and leaning over to the gunwales.

After the net Bear only just got the words seal, dodgy and toilet out before I shushed him out the door to go and see the ladies in the office and Nick at Ashby’s. The worry of a leaking valve with Beez bucking up and down in a storm, nay cyclonic winds, would not serve the nerves any useful purpose at all.

The reason for my swift ejection of the skipper was from our past experience in Cape Verde. The toilet outlet was leaking slightly between the valve and the through-hull flange. Later, we were told that the marina chaps had heard the word “hole” instead of hull and had got prayers said for Beez at Sunday Mass, one of them came at me on the Monday morning, eyes like an owl “are you OK” yeeaaasss why ??? “We thought you would be on the floor, bad hole”. My Portuguese-Patois was limited but I managed to thank him profusely for his prayers and reassured him that Bear had dived the day before and our ‘hole’ was good and Beez was still floating and not on the ‘floor’. Oh you should have seen the corresponding hand signals that accompanied that little diatribe. Back to this morning.

Bear was back in ten minutes, Beez was fired up, covers stowed and off we went once again to the sick dock at Ashby’s, yes, that same 0.67 mile journey. The yard would fit us in, at some point, for a haul and we were ready. On our way in we passed Happy Monster, always loved the fact that the dinghy is called Little Monster. Hans and his good lady wife have just sold her and moved permanently to Fiji, we wish them every good fortune. Then we passed the lady with the long beak, my sign to turn right. A while after lunch the boys called us. The wind was pushing us hard onto the dock so Nick was very happy to show us his new toy and pull Beez bottom off, once her nose was in the crane slip, Pete took over.

No sooner the word than the blow, we were going up, Bear and Pete now on a level and chatting. I looked forward and saw the sad sight of the diesel cans, clearly I’m going to have to saddle up the sewing machine forthwith an get that particular stable looking ship-shape and Bristol fashion, especially as Bear has replaced the supporting plank, the thoughts of sanctioning it’s use on the wayward crew - it almost overwhelms me at times, what was that, nothing dear. Huh. To our left Nick’s toy looked very smart indeed, but he did say he would “prefer it to have more grunt”, I guess the fifty horsepower engine could be so much bigger.

The picture of serenity, Pete was not quite happy about the rear strop position and down we went again. I looked across the bay and watched this man, away in his own thoughts as he spuddled along in his tiny steed. Up we went, this time thumbs up all round.

When the travel lift came to a halt and the worrying swing stopped we climbed down the offered ladder. Shock horror at the waterline staining and the slime and all over the girls hull in just three months. I feel an increase in the waterline while we are out of the water, under my breath I muttered something to the effect of why don’t you paint the whole of the hull black. What was that, nothing dear. Oh colour me happy, just did a typo ] instead of the ‘ in the word don’t and found it was a squared bracket. This laptop was my Christmas present just after we arrived in New Zealand. Very soon the near support bar of the cd drawer fell off and I only open just enough to post a dvd into it and for many months the numbers at the top haven’t worked [I have another set to the right of the keyboard] oh the joy, hence my use of – instead of brackets.........well what do you know, I’ll be [[[[[[[[[ and ]]]]]]]]] ooo and {{{{{{ and }}}}} all over the place in gay abandon from now on. Keep taking the tablets, sweetheart, don’t you sweetheart me.

The Prop-Speed silicone based coating that cost ninety pounds has clearly failed on the prop, but, the chap who did the work came over immediately at Dave’s request and he will re-do it under gaurantee. However, Muggins has to clean, scrape or pick off all what’s on there at the minute, lucky me. The bow thruster blades have faired much better but the sacrificial anodes that have a whole estate of creatures.

Had I been diving or snorkelling I may have stopped to take a picture of a ball of pretty coloured grass with resident worms waggling away. This family scene however impressed little as it was found on the rudder stock.

The various inlet and outlet pipes had varying levels of establishment, the third picture is the inlet for the anchor wash, completely sealed and hard to the touch, more waggling in alarm. Not for long, not for long I tell them. Beware of the Bear. You bet.

Now to the barnacles. A sprinkling about on the hull, couldn’t believe their size in twelve weeks. The sacrificial anodes were covered. Now these creatures may well lay some of the strongest concrete in the world, stand on their heads, feed by wafting their feet and have the biggest penises in the whole known creature kingdom, does that impress me any ???? NO. AND when you scrape them off they leave razor-sharp edges that slash your finger tips which do make you inwardly squeal when you douse said injuries with acetone. I haven’t heard a manly squeal from you in some time........Oh I have every confidence for this afternoon.

After a very, very gentle power wash it was time to watch Beez gently make her way through the yard. At the far corner Pete reversed her along the line, I thought she may end up in her original position but that was not to be. Bear stood in his usual stance.

Not entirely certain why there is a radiator behind the girl, I asked Bear to pose with it.......Mmmm. Very impressed with the blue ‘carpet’ below Beez.