Quite a Day

Beez Neez now Chy Whella
Big Bear and Pepe Millard
Tue 6 Dec 2011 23:28
In the End Not Quite the Day I Had Planned
Now I got up this morning with movement on my mind. Bear as per usual went to the cupboard under the sink to get the cereals out.
Huge swear word as he knocked over the big tub of Quaker Oats – all over the floor. I should have seen the warning signs, pulled the quilt over my head and forgot the rest of the day.
My original thought was a bowl of Sugar Puffs and a blog before Bill came at eight to furtle with my fridge and probably top up my Freon. Then Bear would slip the lines, Beez would glide backwards like the lady she is and we would spuddle the thirty five miles to our first stop – Mile Hammock Bay, the first of several pleasing anchorages before we arrive to be tourists in Charleston. NO.
That ‘changed on a dime’ when with much head scratching and puffing of cheeks, the odd gurgle and spurt from somewhere in the bowels of the fridge and words like “PSI” were muttered about in manly terms; then Tom popped out with “It’s the compressor, it’s deceased, probably an internal valve not working”. “As it is a sealed unit the whole kit and caboodle has to be replaced”.
Now all of you out there in domestic bliss would think we would jump into the marina car, leap out at Home Base, the massive US equivalent of B&Q; where we would meet a very nice mature man in an orange apron with Malcolm or Sid on his name badge. He would lead us to the hundreds of fridges on display. We would find the right size, I would stroke and coo, we would pay a nice young lady Mary Jane, Mary Sue or Mary Beth on the till and load it in the car. Bear would pull out the old one, plug in the new and chilled salad would be as crisp as when I squeezed it in Piggly Wiggly. NO. 
Our fridge is keel cooled; that means that coolant goes outside, waggles around in the sea and then slips round the system keeping the said lettuce crisp. To replace it Beez Neez has to come out of the water. See Pepe’s face blanche as she sees the savings pot take a smack with a wet fish,
Oh would that be a now warm fish
Paint Pepe’s face a serious shade of crimson.
Have you ever seen anyone swing a room temperature cucumber with such anger and menace, Bear has.
Don’t bend over Bear, Keep your buttocks taut Bear.
Tight Bear, Tight.
Bill (who speaks like Sam Elliott in any one of his outings in a western – just as well I have always fancied him – Hmmmmmmmmm) Anyway Bill spoke on his mobile to Tommy Russell of Russell Boatyard and Glaziers, did I just type glaziers, yes. Tommy told Bill he could order in all our bits and they would be here in a “few days time”.
Bear wanted to see the whites of Tommy’s eyes. He asked if I would like to go too. No. I would pour a large V+C and do the blog I said I was going to do first thing this morning. Off Bear went in the marina car along the highway toward Morehead City. I actually felt I should do something of note and felt quite pleased when he returned - “I’ve done my tax return”.
Plan. Stay here, wait for Tommy to ring. Speak later to the marina boys about a deal. Bear said Beez haul is in the set price along with two men for three hours. We will have free against a piling, not really a marina as such, so no toilet, showers or internet – but you can walk down the road to the library.
I opened my neat cupboard to find some of my old friends, the Confused Pharmaceutical Beetle, just a couple wandering aimlessly in one my new, expensive, guaranteed, Oxo seal lid jars marked BB Muesli Fruit. Before I could hit the roof, wonder how long they have been hitching a ride with me and reason that I had only filled his muesli fruit pot in Deltaville, I heard – There are only two climbing on those chunks of pineapple at the top, (now in a poorly rendered Beach Boys voice that I cannot tell you how much I hate - Oh they could be Californian Girls – followed by the suggestion - Oh just wash them. Sod off Bear.
Bear has been full of cold the last few days; so during the day sneezing and sniffing, at night snorting and snoring , well guess who has the tell-tale signs now. So I go hunting my beetles with bits of tissue stuck up my beak. Bear loitered nearby with the camera. See Pepe aim the black pepper pot and see Bear disappear muttering about it not being his fault his breakfast fruit has passengers. Creatures dealt with. My concern is the little buggers have friends who have been the Christopher Columbus type and lost themselves in the pot next door, the mash pot or the one next to it – the rice pot – then I will have a problem.
My cheese salad lunch was limp.
I peeled an onion for a hastily ‘added to the menu beef stew’, oh boy that one stung, I almost lost my vision.
Bear now seen walking around with full cheeks like a hamster claiming, Well it would be a shame to have to throw it away.
I spent all day between chores recording a season of Numbers on to a hard drive – I checked it and found it was ALL in a dodgy language, apparently each disc has a default I have to over-ride each and every time.
I  lost at Backgammon.
I went to see the marina boys. They said I can have winter monthly rate which works out to ten pounds a day. That’s the first good news today. Yes.
We went for a shower, had the beef stew for supper including swede, turnip and sprouts that has given me a rough evening with gaseous and stinking clatter from the Captain.
Now bear in mind the end of my last blog said ALL IN ALL A GREAT LIFE
The Heron sits digesting his fish, pointing his beak to the way I would have left............
.........he hears me and flies right toward Morehead City and Tommy’s
                     SHUT IT HAMMY AND FART OUTSIDE
                     I COULD BE OUT THERE ALL NIGHT