How NOT to manage a Hotel

Salsa af Stavsnas
Ellinor Ristoff Staffan Ehde
Mon 24 Nov 2014 23:27

To say something good about Southern Cross Hotel in Suva, their web marketing is good even though it does not correspond one bit with reality. I decided to pay 160Fiji D because it included breakfast and free wifi.
When I get there the building does not remind of anything I’ve seen on their web page, it looks more like a Soviet era building that somebody had tried t blow to pieces but failed. Then they painted some blue colour on it all, about 300 hurricanes ago….
When you enter the building you are greeted by a lovely smile, a great receptionist. But she is not in charge… She is just nice, whatever happens, that’s her job and I think empathy is something they took away from her.
I get a room on the first floor with the words “that’s the only one we have”.
I should have been worried, and when I entered the room there was no sign of daylight, I could have rented an underground bomb shelter.
Anyway, I’m in a hurry to get things done in town and decide that I will survive…
Coming back I ask for the pool area since I thought I could sit there and work at least and get some daylight. Well the pool area only existed on the web…
Now I got a little bit upset… I told her this is not acceptable and suddenly she had a room with balcony, on the fourth floor. And the room was actually bigger than the previous.
Forgot to tell you, when you entered the previous room it was so small you faced the opposite wall as you opened the door (outwards).
OK so I opened the computer and got hold of the wifi and punched the code- well there was a signal but not with the world outside the hotel. I guess they do not want you to be able to look into their website and compare…
Tried to work with the cleaning staff shouting between the floors and outside there is a building site, well it looks like they are trying to tear down the hotel with one guy and his hammer drill.
The cleaning staff in the hotel is just hilarious, they have taken over the place completely. You find them texting on their phones laying in the furniture in the lobby and when you pass they look up and greet you with a “BULA!”.
So comes the night and I thought it would be fun to see what’s on Fiji television.
OK there was nothing. At least no reception from the antenna, but the snowflakes from the screen could act as light in the room, because the only available bulb (naked of course) was at the door. OK there was one in the bathroom also.
Well the staff in the hotel and on the outside went home by 5. Thank god.
As I went to bed I was grateful I had my Kindle with a lighted screen so I could read. No bed lamp…
The sheets and the towels were clean…
Oh yes I asked if I could use an iron and a board to iron my skirt and pant for the meeting and yes they had them as promised.
I think a beaver or huge rats must have munched the ironing board.
I fell asleep and woke up soon before 7 and to my surprise somebody knocked on my door and YELLED: ROOMSERVICE!!!
Since I was up I could open the door fast and as I was going to say that I did not…
A tray was thrown at me, “BREAKFAST!!!”
Oh thank you! What an idea, breakfast included and then you just give it out. And funny enough I could hear others that did not open fast enough how demanding the voices were “HALLO!!!!!! BREAKFAST !!!!!!!! SIR!!!!! S I R !!!!!”
A great business idea, you get everybody out of bed and can get on cleaning faster!
The breakfast I never asked for was some juice they diluted 1+1000, a plate with 2 sausages that looked like penises from chimps, 1/8 of a mango (please clean it yourself),
A huge leaf of salad (great! I just longed for that leaf!)
2 white toasts that must have been left over yesterday.
One hard-boiled egg that somebody for some reason had decided to peel for me (that should be mentioned on their website! “We peel your eggs for you!”).
Took my shower and decided this was FUN! Worked my way through the cleaning staff that was doing everything imaginable to get the guests out of the hotel.
Since I had to pay in advance I just dropped the key and was on my way out, but now the nice girl in the reception got serious: “S I R? Are you checking out?”
“Yes but I have paid!”
“We have to check the minibar S I R”
Let me give you the picture, the minibar was a refrigerator that was sounding like a stone mill all night, and that thing contained 4 cans of coke, 4 bottles of water and… that’s it.
“So you mean I have to wait for somebody to check the minibar? I have not taken any!”
She said with a faint, tired gasp “hotelcompanypolicyImsorry”.
So the last message I got from them was “ we do not trust you”
Well do I trust THEM?