I'll bloody swing for one of these guys yet.
'Sarf & West mate, Sarf & West'
Pete Bernfeld
Fri 25 May 2012 08:24
'Be on the boat tomorrow morning'.
Great. Will it finishing the windlass, finishing the wind generator, finishing the main switch panel, finishing connecting the radio or will it be starting something else to leave half finished. Ooh, just call me Mr Cynical.
Tomorrow morning and Junior duly arrives. Arun is in the Solomon Isles, a fishing boat has had an electrical fire. Fair enough, he is contracted to the fishing fleet as far as I can make out. What is Junior going to do?
He decides to test the masthead lights. One minor problem is it's a really sunny day. Better Idea, we'll hoike the ex-mast virgin up to remove the unit, test it and clean it up. This takes some time but we eventually succeed, OK Butto succeeds. We had rigged up a mouse attached to the light wire but.....well you can guess the rest. Never mind, light down and test it. Anchor light....OK, nav lights. Ah, well we have a red light, we have a white light and....no green. It looks suspiciously like a sealed unit. Junior suggests taking it to Dick Smiths.
'I thought you could deal with electrical stuff?'
'I'm an electrician, not an electrical engineer'.
'OKAAY, so we'll take it now?'
'No, I have to take my sister to hospital for a check up. She's expecting next month. I'll be down tomorrow morning."
Right, fine. Butto volunteers to go back up to the first spreaders and fit the re-jigged strut. It fits. One job done, as in finished.
I decide Butto will be best employed chipping the rust off the anchor chain. Martin the Meknik turns up. He wants to shot-blast one of the transmission casings and needs to buy 'consumables'. Oil, oil filters and fuel filters. Fair enough, he's got the prices and I pay him. My rule with Martin is if it involves a third party doing something or buying something I pay. His labour can wait right now. Oh, he's also finished rebuilding the gearboxes, could I pay him? As he's done it, and he assures me he has, OK. Engine in tomorrow then. Er, yeah. Hmmm.
Tomorrow, aka. yesterday, dawns. Down to the boat, message from Junior, he'll be in in the afternoon not tthe morning. I decide to take a taxi to Dick Smiths. The electrical engineer confirms that the wiring is OK, it is a sealed unit and the green light doesn't work. Yeah, well we knew that. They can't do anything. We, I, suspected that but now I know. Return to boat, check out new masthead light in the so-called chandlery. It was priced at F$86 which was suspiciously cheap. It's now priced at F$362. I decline. I have an anchor light, I'll rig up a green light when I need it. I go for a jug of iced water, Junior arrives and takes the unit to Dick Smiths without telling me. I decide that I'll send Butto up the mast and replace the unit...ah. I call Junior. His Mum has taken the car, he'll be down tomorrow, aka today. grit my teeth, go and get another iced water.
I'm told there is a rumour that I owe contractors 'thousands of dollars'. I have a long fuse, but I now reach the end of it. throw my toys out of the pram, go and fetch them then throw them around some more. The lady (?) who serves me the iced tap water is surprised. Mild-mannered Clark Kent is shouting. I explain in a loud voice exactly how much I've already shelled out, exactly what hasn't been done and exactly how much I actually do owe the contactors. Zero dollars, we're up to date. It's now the end of the day, so we chuck the anchor and chain into a large bucket of de-rusting fluid and I go muttering up the hill.
Today: I go and find John the GRP.
'Do I owe you any money John?'
'No'.
'Sure?'
'Yeah, why?'
I tell him. He explodes.
'Who is saying this?'
'Not sure, but you'll know if I find out because he'll be the one being put in the ambulance.'
I go and find Martin. Same question. Same answer.....Are the engines ready. In on Saturday, this has slipped from Thursday or Friday (today).
You sure?
Yes.
I return to the boat. Junior arrives with the light unit. Butto is late. Junior cleans the three-way light switch and tests it. OK. Butto shows up and is promptly winched up the mast to replace light unit, drop the wire down attached to a 2KGs weight and replace a pulley system that had come adrift at the top of the mast. This takes time and neither Junior nor I can understand what he's shouting down. He also drops a couple of things which we send back up to him. Well that can happen to anybody. We bring him down. The pulley system is not attached the way I thought it was, it needs a shackle. I buy an appropriate shackle but it's now time for a tea break.Butto likes brewing tea on the boat and has been supplying biscuits. Nice of him actually.
During the tea break, it starts to rain. I take the halyard pulley-system out of the base of the mast and lo and behold.....we have a wire attached to a weight. Well blimey Guv'nor, that worked OK then. I replace the halyard pulley system as it stops raining. Butto goes back up the mast...job eventually done AND the spare spinnaker halyard is successfully re-installed. Martin rings. Er, could I pay him for cleaning out the tanks and he's lost an engine dipstick and a gearbox dipstick. I explode. I will see you here after lunch. We have some things to discuss. I go and see Romina the club manager. This useless sod has cost me F$750 in extra hard standing fees. The boat should have been in the water SIX weeks ago. She suggests writing a letter to the committee, explaining the situation, my personal situation and asking for the remaining fees to be waived. She can't promise but thinks they will be sympathetic. We'll see.
Lunch. Veggie F$2.00 from the Indian Caff. I take Martin to one side and read him his horoscope (overdue most would probably say). He is like a contrite child. Yes it is his fault. Yes he has lost parts, but he's found the engine dipstick and will make up a cap for the gearbox. I'll have to use the other cap with the built-in dipstck to check the level, but since it's pretty obvious once you get the cap off I let this one go, albeit he knows I'm not impressed.
Right, engines in tomorrow then.
Sunday.
I explode, he cringes.
Yes the engines are both assembled but he hasn't fitted the two props (one of which he thought he had lost but he found that as well). he will really really really have them in the boat on Sunday.
I explain exactly how upset I'm going to be if I spend Sunday sitting on the boat waiting for him to show up.
I go and find John the GRP. Boat painting this coming week then. He has a couple of small jobs to finish. He will do them on Saturday and Sunday. Him I believe. We agree that if Martin is a 'no-show' then it will be a toss up who gets to him first. John is al ittle older than me but bigger. He spends a lot of his working day lifting heavy-ish weights. I've developed some upper body strength hoisting Butto up the mast. Martin lifts a lot of beer glasses. No contest I would have thought. Perhaps we'll see.
I'll be calling Junior tomorrow to tell him the anchor windlass is now a bloody priority and it had better be done on Monday....unless I'm in jail.
GGGrrrr.
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