Crane booked for Thu 1500. Crane company say 'no problem', we'll see. In the meantime a slow sort of day. Retrieved the two anchors on the reef; despite reports of locals stripping  stranded boats Trouters was not molested, perhaps thanks to the vigilance of the harbour police? Tomorrow will be another 'maximum effort' day, waterlogged stuff off the boat, foresails off, flotation gear off, repaired and one last effort to get Trouters a few metres closer to make life easier for the crane (the largest locally, a 35 tonne job, will it/won't it be enough?)

Are we defined by things we own/jobs held/how we are perceived by others or do we define ourselves as individuals? I ponder this as all of my treasured possessions of some forty five years (books in the main) are waterlogged and probably beyond recovery so I'm left with an eclectic collection of clothes and what books I grabbed, in the main hypnotherapy course books as I thought/still think I may have to 'start over' in some shape or form. Naturally I hope/aim to become a moderately successful author, but even with two novels now doing the rounds with publishers that takes time.

Looking around at my remaining possessions, I wondered if I could be the same person if everything that I defined myself by was gone, the props of the identity that I had built up over the years gone laying in a sodden mass somewhere in the boat or rolling around on the sea bed......then I felt liberated in a strange sort of way. I could reinvent/redefine myself, not in any deceitful way, my qualifications/experience are what they are but perhaps we become trapped into a particular mindset? Maybe I can change the way I react to external events......well we can all do that of course but maybe under my present circumstances it might be easier to change the things that perhaps could do with changing? Deep thoughts, not well defined, but prompted in part by having photos taken for my Royal Suva Yacht Club application form. Who is this  gaunt, grey-bearded slightly demented looking person? Answers on the back of a fag packet to Slim of Suva (I wonder 'en passant' if Harley Davidson make a 'Slim Boy' as well as a Fat Boy and if not why not? I wonder if I'll ever own another Harley, or indeed would I want to? Yes is probably the answer but would my reasons be the same as last time?) Relationships, pah who needs them? Well, maybe I do after all.  As the man said, no man is an island except of course I don't think that he mentioned we're born alone and die alone, no one else can do that for us but in between being born and shuffling off our mortal coils? Right, enough of this rambling, I can't even use the excuse of being pissed.

Thank you and goodnight, whoever,  wherever and whatever you are.

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A writer's life for me?
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