Sometimes they ARE out to get you

'Sarf & West mate, Sarf & West'
Pete Bernfeld
Thu 23 Feb 2012 00:57
Standing at the Pacific Blue check in desk at Nadi airport, Fiji.
I'm sorry sir, you don't appear to have an Australian Visa.
Yes I do.
It's not coming up when I scan your passport.
I have a visa and I have the paperwork that told me I have a visa, here it is. (Australia now issues 'sticker-less' visas, so there is nothing in the passport, it's all done by elec-trickery)
Yes, it does say that you have a twelve month multiple entry visa, but it doesn't come up when I scan your passport. Did you apply for it in Suva?
Yes.
A lengthy phone call later.
The problem is we (the airline) in our system type in GB and your visa was issued under the code GBR. It's OK, you can board the flight, you do have a visa.

Going out through Fiji Immigration.
Have you applied for a visa extension?
No. I entered Fiji on 21st October and was issued a four month visa.
Have you applied for a visa extension?
Today is the 20th Feb, the visa expires at midnight tonight, that's why I'm leaving on this flight.
Yes, but have you applied for a visa extension?
Then I made the mistake of trying to be helpful.
I have this letter from the Immigration department which will allow me to re-enter Fiji on a one way ticket. The letter was issued last week and they had to check my passport and see the airline tickets. If there was any problem, I'm sure they would have pointed it out to me. Here is the letter from Immigration.
Looks at it.
You should have surrendered this when you last entered Fiji.
It was issued last week, I haven't left Fiji yet, when I re-enter Fiji I will surrender it.
Just a moment.
Repeat the entire conversation with a senior officer, then proceed, everything is OK.

Immigration at Brisbane airport.
Do you have any paperwork to say that you have a visa, because the system is not showing you as having been issued with one.
Hand over paperwork.
Strange. Calls over several colleagues.
Nope. The computer say no. Can you come with me and we'll sort it out.
They were polite and there was no suggestion that I was trying to enter the country illegally.
Finally.....
You were entered into the system as a British Subject, not a British Citizen. We've sorted out the problem, it'll be OK when you come in in the boat.
Then I got the first break of the trip. I was carrying one small bag, so customs took the declaration off me and said no need to queue for the customs inspection.
But wait, there's more!
Barry was at the airport to meet me. The following day we went into a humongous shopping mall to get a Sim card for the phone and for the IPad. Both sorted (oh yeah?)
Firstly the IPad sim wouldn't connect. Had 'the young chap' activated it as promised? Have to go back tomorrow. For the phone, I have to go online to confirm which prepaid plan I want to be on. I'll do that when the IPad is up and running.
The next day, back to the IPad Sim shop. It's a faulty chip (after trying to get it to work for ten minutes). I'll put another one in.....faulty....sorry about this, I'll etc etc....faulty....faulty....times 20! I'm sorry sir, we don't have any more sim cards, I'll have to give you a refund.
Two stores later we find one that DOES have an IPad sim card. OK. I'll activate it for you, might take about an hour.....nope. Back to the store after lunch, whilst en-route to a chandlers.
Strange....ah, it's OK, I had to switch the IPad off then on. I should have thought of that, I used to fly a Dornier 328!
Go to the chandlers....all sorted. Nice chap, good stock reasonable prices (mind you, the first place we went, nameless but a 'cruising yacht club' were unhelpful in the extreme, Barry was a bit embarrassed about it, and for him to be a bit embarrassed means they really were unhelpful)
Now for the phone, which will accept incoming calls but I can't dial the service centre. Go online, nowhere on the site can I find where to specify which prepaid plan I want to be on. Try ringing the service centre on a landline....call back at 0800 tomorrow!)
Tomorrow dawns. Now for some reason I can call the service centre on the mobile, but it's still closed. I wonder??? I text for a balance check. No credit.....I had asked that everything be set up before I left the shop, the reply was I had to specify which plan I wanted before I could use the phone.
Yes, I'll enrol in the plan that allows me to make overseas calls at a better rate.
You can do that online sir.
Oh no you can't. You have to put the credit onto the phone by texting the top up code, then on the phone you are directed to ring an automated centre and specify (option 1,2 or 3) which plan you want to be on!
Now I ring Helen and Gordon, who are still in Brisbane and hopefully we'll meet up over the weekend. Tonight I'll get in contact with Vince and see where he is.

The number?
Australia 0404 939 397
Until the 2nd of March. Australians and technology???


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