Ode to The Stollen

Ode to The Stollen
 
In La Gomera I first saw you
Sitting on the shelf
A Christmas treat I thought I saw
A present to myself
 
Caroline can't eat you
Its the wheat you see
Her allergy is such a shame
Still, all the more for me!
 
I put you in my basket
And wheel you to the till
But with credit card and no ID
I cannot pay the bill
 
I go to get some Euros
Then back to the cashier
The queue waits so politely
But I must get out of here
 
I take you to the boat
And put you in the store
Til Christmas time in Guadeloupe
I'll think of you no more
 
We set sail 'cross the Atlantic
The dolphins bade farewell
We headed south, the sea state good
With just Atlantic swell
 
A goose on the wing we were flying
But we're not the only one's
A tern, a gull and flying fish
All shining in the sun
 
The night helms are the longest
You really need to eat
Madeira cake we had left over
Was my first tasty treat
 
For a thousand miles we headed south
To stay in the trade winds
They come and go, but we press on
Glad there are no shark fins
 
After two weeks treats are getting low
The biscuits are all gone
The Twix's too have all been eaten
To me the Mars don't belong
(but Caz let me have some anyway!)
 
What can I eat on the night helm
I need something to keep me going
There's nothing else I can think of
It has to be the Stollen
 
The Plough points to the North Star
It doesn't move that much
But when Orion's run is overhead
The Stollen it's time to munch
 
Oh no, what's that? No Weetabix?
The biscottes are all gone
There's nothing else for breakfast
The Stollen's called upon
 
The journey ends in Guadeloupe
My birthday is the day
The Stollen lasts for one more slice
My birthday treat's OK!
 
But now that it is Christmas
Oh what am I to do?
Caz has found a Christmas sponge
Joyeux Fetes to all of you!