Pandemonium
VulcanSpirit
Richard & Alison Brunstrom
Thu 29 Aug 2013 12:11
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Churchill famously defined democracy as "the
worst form of government except for all those other forms that have been tried
from time to time" (House of Commons, 11 November 1947). Clearly he had
never heard of the tragi-comedy that was the Anglo-French Condominium of the New
Hebrides (now Vanuatu) 1906 -1980, known contemporaneously and with good cause
as the Pandemonium.
The New Hebrides were settled by British and French
planters, without true colonisation. French planters sought annexation by France
at the end of the nineteenth century, and British planters responded by
demanding British annexation. Eventually the two government, firm rivals at the
time, agreed that the UK would cede Raiatea in Polynesia to France, and in
exchange France would graciously not annex the New Hebrides and join it to
neighbouring New Caledonia. As usual, no-one bothered to consult the locals.
However the country was never actually colonised. A joint Administration was set
up, the Condominium, in 1906. Each party set up an entire administration,
an exact mirror image of the other from top to bottom. There were two Residents,
two police forces of exactly equal size and rank structure but entirely
different uniforms working to two different legal codes, two Immigration
Departments, two Customs systems, two sets of commercial laws etc etc.
Everything was duplicated, almost literally every sheet of paper, and of course
everything going backwards and forwards between the two Administrations had to
be fully translated in each direction as a point of principle. People entering
the 'country' could choose which Immigration service to use regardless of their
own nationality, firms could register under one administration but operate under
the other resulting in endemic corruption. Even road traffic law
was doubled, so every police patrol included an officer from each
jurisdiction because a motorist could choose which legal system he wanted to be
dealt with by. As an aside, Vanuatu now drives on the right. In the years
before 1906 English settlers drove on the left, French on the right, resulting
in total anarchy. Luckily there wasn't much traffic, but the situation
could not be permitted to continue. Needless to say, ever
disfunctional, the two sides could not agree so it was eventually decided
that the next ferry docking would be watched as it unloaded, and the first
vehicle off the ferry would determine the issue. As luck would have it this was
a French priest driving a buggy; he chose the right-hand side, and the
choice stuck.
But it gets worse. Because the 'country ' was not
annexed by either the UK or France technically it did not exist as a country in
international law . The settlers were governed by French or British law, but the
locals had no citizenship of either state, and no state of their own. Because
they therefore couldn't be governed by UK or French law a third legal system had
to be devised. Almost beyond belief the two Great Powers decided that the King
of Spain would appoint a Judge for the native courts. He was assisted by a Dutch
administrator. Neither person spoke English, French or Pidjin (now called
Bislama), nor of course, any of the local languages. Incredible but
true.
Things continued like this almost until
independence in 1980. Not Britain's finest hour, and now actually quite funny. I
really wonder what bon mot Churchill would have come up with, given the
right opportunity.
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