Australian Peculiarities
Harmonie
Don and Anne Myers
Tue 20 Apr 2010 06:50
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I've said before that sometimes Australia can be an odd place - or, I guess
it was the word peculiar that I used. At any rate, it's true.
Here are some examples from our growing collection of Australian
peculiarities.
First, a little bit about Australian driving.
Yes, it is backwards - just like all the other ex-English colonies (makes us
wonder how the US and Canada escaped this particular anomaly?), and in the
beginning when I was carting Don back and forth to the Royal
Brisbane Hospital from the marina, I held a death-grip on the steering
wheel of our rental car - fearing that I would mistakenly wander too far over to
the right and get picked off by a crazy Australian driver. It never
happened - and not because I was a perfect backwards driver - more because
there are very few crazy drivers in Australia. The penalties
associated with speeding are so strict here that literally, no one speeds.
No one speeds! Not even that sneaky few kilometers over the
speed limit. Not only that, but no one cuts you off, most
drivers let you in when two lanes merge, and because most intersections are
round-abouts, there is little need for directionals, so you
don't even get the chance to be pissed off at someone for not
using their blinker. The orderliness on the roads is similar
to the Stepford Wives - so perfect that it's eerie.
The big news story last night was that someone got pulled over for going 42
km over the speed limit - that's about 25 mph over the speed limit.
Granted, that's some pretty hefty speeding, but this was a national news
story. A national news story! The delinquent's license
was taken away on the spot. If he or she had been caught speeding to
a lesser degree, say 5-7 km/hr over the limit, they would have suffered a mere
$250 fine and several 'demerits' on their license. It doesn't
take many demerits to lose your license here. The speed police
are almost always in unmarked cars and when they aren't out and about, they let
speed cameras do the work for them. Big Brother is definitely alive
and well in Australia.
And another thing or two...
Stop signs are extremely rare.
There are plenty of 'Give Way' signs, which are not to be confused with
'Merge' signs because sometimes they mean merge and sometimes they mean
stop. The sheer number of roundabouts make stop signs nearly extinct -
which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
And don't even think about driving while drunk, or as the Aussies say,
'drink driving'. The limit here is .03, which means you can probably take
a whiff of your beer, but not drink it. If caught drink driving, the
penalties are huge and very serious, but just the term 'drink driving' tends to
make us giggle.
Now, about greetings and pleasantries in
Australia...
There is definitely the good day greeting, which
really is pronounced 'G'day!', but there is also the 'How are you going?'
greeting, which still throws us off every time we hear it. We're never
sure whether to respond with a 'Good!', or a 'Fine!', or a description of where
we are headed because the question sounds so much like 'Where are you
going?'. Sometimes there is just a, 'Cheers!', which seems to be an
all-purpose greeting/thank-you/welcome/good-bye kind of word. Our favorite
is the ubiquitous 'No worries!'. Not just a surfer-dude term,
here it's used by almost everyone as a substitute for, 'You're welcome!'
or the more American, 'No problem!' And then there's that 'Good on you!' _expression_ that the
Kiwis are also so very fond of using. We've heard it so much now
that it's starting to creep into our own language, which is
scary.
The 'ie' or 'y' phenomenon...
It's like a plague. It's everywhere.
Brisbane is 'Brissie', Tasmania is 'Tassie', barbeque is 'barbie', breakfast is
'brekky', rugby, the national pastime and sporting obsession, is 'footy' (not
sure how you get footy from rugby?), mushrooms are 'mushies'
(ugh!), TV is 'telly', diapers are 'nappies', and on it
goes.
Miscellaneous oddities...
You don't sunbathe, you 'sunbake' - which seems a
more appropriate term anyway, don't you think? While sunbaking, you
wear a swimming costume, togs or bathers. If you are a man, you might
choose to go for the more revealing 'bugee snugglers' (Speedo). The head
of the opposition (top dog of the Australian political party not currently in
power) is fond of granting interviews with the media while wearing his
own, particularly fetching, pair of bugee snugglers.
You don't drive a big truck, it's a 'lorrie'.
No pick-up trucks here either, only 'utes'.
Don't ask where the bathroom, washroom, powder room
or certainly not the little boys room is, just get straight to the point and ask
where the toilet is. Or, if you prefer the more whimsical, 'loo', you
can ask where that is too.
We've found we can deal with the concept of fish'n'chips in place of a
fish fry, but we continue to struggle with 'bangers and mash' (sausage
and mashed potatoes).
If you don't like any of this, you can feel free to
'whinge' about it, which is much like whining. If you get really upset
about the cultural differences and feel like you are going to blow a gasket,
you are more than welcome to instead, 'spit the dummy'. However,
in order to properly spit the dummy, you would first have to know that
a dummy is a pacifier, and spitting the dummy is a reference to a baby spitting
out its pacifier in a fit of rage. So, feel free to spit the
dummy as often as you like. If that doesn't work, add a heap of
whinging, and then tuck in to some stunning bangers and mash, a vegemite
sandwich, and a few stubbies with your best mate and a few other
blokes. Or, if you prefer, hire a car and drive to the nearest
glam/flash/posh restaurant with a stunning view of the surf and tuck in to a
kangaroo steak served with veg, a bottle of Grange, and pavlova with a
flat white for dessert. That ought to do the trick.
Anne |