Slow News Day
Mon 9 Jun 2014 13:54
LAT 43.02 N LON 18.39 W
“Oh no, it won’t go to waste. If the drink is there I’ll drink it.” Said Emma, typically, referring to the Pernod, the red wine and the beer. That’s my girl. Only problem is that this seems to apply solely to alcoholic beverages, and we are well over-provisioned with soft drinks. Mo and Mauritz had bought us an insane amount on the BVI, and none of the remaining crew drink them! So, if you’re in the neighbourhood just drop us a line and we’ll toss some over to you. You can find us at the above coordinates.
Light news day today. So, just the headlines it shall be:
NEW CREW MEMBER IN OLIVE CHAIN SMOKING SCANDAL
Matty was discovered clutching the entire jar of olives between her thighs, feeding herself in what can only be described as the equivalent to chain smoking.
SKIPPER SIMON ONLY USES CHEESE FOR PILLOWS
Apparently he is afraid that someone else might eat all of the good cheese if he doesn’t look after it. As far as I’m concerned, he just enjoys staying up all night in his sarong, listening to the Spice Girls (he can name them all) and rubbing cheese over his face.
EMMA CONTINUES TO BE BOOZE HOOVER
Emma is still a booze hoover.
And bringing you today’s weather is none other than...MEEEEE!
I don’t have a bleedin’ clue! Something about a strange shape that formed near Iceland means that I felt sea-sick for a few days. SQUALLS!
And, in other news:
Yesterday a plate was spotted on it’s maiden voyage across the Atlantic ocean. When questioned about his motives, the plate informed us that:
”I wish to be the first plate to circumnavigate the entire globe, no-handed and without sails, provisions or anything other than myself.”
The plate is believed to have a penchant for turtles.
That is all.