Except the inspector general was British not German. And he was a very nice chap, although that is part of the tactics. Lull you into a false sense of security and WHAM - hit you hard .... "So, Captain, do you have spare underwear in your liferaft grab bag - abandoning ship is a scary business you know?"

Yes, I'm joking, but I might add some, as it's a valid point.

I folded up the trifold doors and had the whole kit and kaboodle laid out all over the saloon and cockpit. Had to hang a few items on Bosun as space was tight.

Mr Inspector General, with clipboard of course, was bribed with coffee and a walk around the boat to check out how the Aussies do things. He was suitably impressed - good start.

I was then like a semaphore guy - arms waving, and pointing, left and right. Down the checklist we plunged, with stops so he could regale me with his stories, of which I showed huge respect, and laughed hysterically at his jokes. If you need to be a sycophant, get on with it, right?

The things he picked me up for, were: ....... nothing - and it's a big list :-)

x86 is now certified to cross the Atlantic.

All's well, on another good day afloat.