Escape from Hebe

Tue 23 Sep 2014 05:27
23rd September 2014

Going stir crazy in Port Vila harbour so we have escaped to THE best place to stay in the whole of Vanuatu…i.e. bug screens, clean towels and fans….not to mention a Vietnamese chef in the kitchen. The staff here are so happy beaming all the time and remembering our names. (Harvard survey says Vanuatu is the happiest place in the world - Ed)


Our hut complete with outdoor bonking bed!

We were shown around the resort including one of the Honeymoon huts hidden exclusively amongst the trees. I can't imagine how any young newly weds could afford this ecstatic place designed to create as many nooky nooks as possible. These included apart from the swing bed above but an outside bath and a twin infinity pool with recliners in the shallows. There are kitchen and BBQ facilities too, I said "Oh, they're self catering" to which he replied, "No madam, the chef comes to cook if they are too exhausted to get to the dining room".

This heavenly place with its lagoon and islands is quite a way from Port Vila across some highlands sheltering on the North West coast of Efate.

To get here required another taxi journey as my husband doesn't do buses. He carefully chose a white saloon in town which looked presentable and Fred was eager for the fare. We set off all smiles as it started to pour with rain. I was in the front and started to wind up my window when it went bang and shot up sideways. "Plis no worries" cried Fred and pulled in yanking my door explaining that the window was bugerup. Having struggled with his own window we set off. Fred had covered the windows in black cling film so as to provide shade but the visibility was minimal.

Then of course we needed fuel so garage next.. as Andrew opened his wallet he suggested perhaps he ought to pay for a service at the same time. Fred thought this hilarious as we chugged off. The rain by this time had caused considerable condensation on the windscreen so we had no vis anywhere. I fiddled about with a few remaining knobs and got some air blowing, Fred nodded delightedly.

The hill outside town proved too much and half way up the car shuddered to a halt and then alarmingly Fred just rolled it back down to the bottom as Andrew looked wildly behind to check on advancing traffic.
After a good run up on the flat we made it up the hill screaming in first. Unfortunately Fred didn't have the presence of mind to use similar gears on the way down and we just free wheeled downwards foot flat on the brakes and smoke choking Andrew in the back. He was seriously relieved to fall out at our destination and gave Fred a handsome tip in the hopes he would have a change of career, then discovered he'd left his beloved sunglasses in the back. Rats and double rats.


……but well worth the ride.

The island opposite has spectacular diving as nobody else dives there. There's pristine coral and you can see for miles underwater, even in cloudy weather it was amazing, and probably how so much of the sea was before man burned fossil fuels. Don't get me started. I'm quite the fanatic now.


A seriously eco dive outfit.


……….with surprisingly sturdy dining furniture.

The menu here is in Bislama (pidgin- Ed) as well as English which makes for very funny translations….eggs kukum howyulikum etc.

Just had lunch with our trusty crew Harry and Imogen who were supposed to take us back to Hebe home, alas (luckily for us) we have to stay on a few more days, ah shame I hear you say. It appears that Hebe, after 16 months, has at last been invaded by the dreaded cockroach. Two types abound here the massive American ones, slow and easy to catch and the pesky smaller German ones who can breed 40,000 times in a lifetime. No English ones, how charming ….in a way it's lucky we have got it now and not two days into our final voyage, we'd be banned from Australia or torpedoed even.

Easi-Kill say it's no problemo and it's pistols at dawn tomorrow. These horrid creatures fly in from the dustbins of Port Vila or their eggs hide in packaging or market foods. To be honest we've done pretty well to get thus far and soooo fortunate to have Easi Kill ashore. They kill everything apparently so Harry and Imo are escaping as well.

Meanwhile I have donned my basket blong titi for a swim as the weather is


Sunny and windy.

I thought these carvings were over on Easter Island.