So, we seem to be having some relationship issues between Cassini and The Wind (otherwise known as our beloved, who prefers to be referred to as ‘They/Them’ when talking in Pronouns).

As a result, we have been doing everything we can to use our collective charm and experience to work on our most cherished relationship. However, at the moment, Cassini feels somewhat cast adrift from her beloved on whom they rely on, with no understanding when, if ever, they will return. Normally we like to have some Highs in our lives; indeed, some take drugs to chase a High… however, right now, our High is a Low [air wind pressure], and we want a Low to make us feel High. 

Nigel, as chief weatherman and navigator, has been playing the role of lead relationship counsellor up until now. Drawing on his extensive naval experience, he drafted a set of orders to his beloved, directing: ‘My beloved is to return by midnight tonight. She must make best speed, apologise for going AWOL (absent without leave), accept some minor disciplinary action and agree to a post nuptial agreement never to leave us again’. Our beloved seems to have failed to respond to their orders, so the rest of the crew have started working on their relationship counselling skills, with the intent of charming our dearest beloved back into our open arms.

Simon as lead Boat Beautician, has spent hours trying to make Cassini more attractive to her beloved. He has finessed her lines, given her some polish, made her smarter, lighter and more graceful by working on her trim.  Despite his ability to make Cassini feel beautiful and loved, it feels like our beloved is actually a bit of a flirt. Just when we start to sense their breath in the air and the ripples of their presence, they disappear into thin air as quickly as they arrive with a small distant wave.

Being French, Romain and Pauline, have taken a far more romantic approach. Standing on the bow of Cassini (think Titanic), they have both accepted that they might need to accept a third presence in to their marriage. They have been openly declaring their undying love with calls to our beloved, trying to entice them with promises of fine wine, cheese and chocolate. For some reason, our beloved is not responding to their calls of love “mon amour, nous t’aimons tant, revient nous et nous te chérirons’… perhaps it’s the garlic and not wanting to feel like the third wheel in a relationship that means our beloved has failed to respond to their calls of love.

Coleman has taken a US ‘we do everything bigger and better’ approach. As the only one with a Garmin In-Reach device (which allows his to send texts via satellite) he has directly texted the Wind Gods with offers of diplomacy, large sums of money, threats of cutting off environmental aid to support our beloved’s wider family and friends, or as a last resort, declaring all-out War (however we seem to have a distinct lack of Arms on board Cassini, so I think diplomacy and coercion remain our best bet). We are not even sure if our beloved has received his messages, or if they are being held at a higher level by the Wind Gods for their own ends.

Finally, I (Liz) have taken the approach to try and entice our beloved back by either seeking a new beloved or triggering their return through a tinge of jealousy via a dating app known as ‘Sailing into The Wind’. Cassini’s profile reads: ‘Seeking a New Beloved with an abundance of Natural Energy: Whilst you might think there are plenty of fish in the sea (even though we can’t catch any!), I, Cassini, is the most brave and beautiful of them all. My charm and skills know no bounds. My friends would describe me as having excellent culinary skills, great company, culturally diverse and steadfast in the face of adversity. Whilst I am normally relatively self-sufficient, lately I feel I have lost a bit of my ‘Vroom’, and my ‘get up and go’ seems to have ‘got up and gone’. My energy reserves are now starting to run somewhat low. I am therefore seeking a new beloved, with limitless natural energy, with whom I can create a lasting bond and can put some much-needed wind back in my sails. In return I can offer great company, strong loyalty, endless cups of tea and marmite.

So, we all wait patiently for our beloved to return to Cassini, taking whatever flirting flutters they send our way. As our thoughts drift across the horizon, to far and distant lands, we have no doubt they will return; just not sure when - maybe a day or so. Meanwhile, all relationship counselling advice accepted J

Liz