Dear Skipper Splodge & Mack,
Most of the North West are now concerned for your safety, the ship has obviously been taken over by jelly babies. Skipper Ian, crew Joe & first mate John have either been taken hostage or have drunk too much beer.
As nothing on the boat seems to work, your best option is to abandon ship.......... & make a swim for it.
I have studied the round land chart, you have almost reached darkest Peru. How exciting, why not visit a distant relative of Mack's......... Paddington Bear.
Kind regards
Wrinkles x
