Mooring for dummies

Heerenxvii
Sat 10 Dec 2011 18:22
18:23.3N 64:30.9W

G: When you already read the book, sit down, relax and enjoy the scene...

Chapter 1 - the setting
A mooring is a big floating ball, attached via a cable to a block cement on the bottom of the sea. The idea is that you tie your boat with a line to the floating ball so you have an easy and safe alternative for anchorage. For your convenience, they tied a line to the ball with a loop at the end. Simply pick up the line (also floating, how convenient) with your boathook and put your own rope through the loop. Fasten your line to the boat and open up a can of beer. It should be as simple as that. For most of us that is...

Chapter 2 - how it should not be done.
We noticed a boat that was 90 degrees turned on a mooring. That can of course be the case, due to wind, but if your the only one out of 20, there might be something funny going on.
As here we started to watch, we have no idea how they got in this situation, but after following their whereabouts, we believe anything. Fact is that their line, from the mooring to the boat, got UNDER the boat and was stuck. After some pushing and pulling they decided to untighten the line and moor again.
Apparently they were not so sure anymore as they circled the mooring for more than 6 times, 5 people at the front of the boat ready to pickup the mooring (although their bodylanguage was more of that of harpooning).
At attempt 7 they made a go for it, but who knows what happened, the attempt was unsuccesfull and we had one man down in the water. It took some time before he was hauled aboard while he was almost sailed over by his own boat that geared up the engine in an attempt to either miss him, or chop his legs off with the propellor, luckily it was the first option. Time for some more circling. So much even that newcomers that were not aware of the pre-ownership of the mooring, headed for this mooring. Only one thing to do, step on the gas to claim what was yours. In this blind rage however, the skipper forgot that there is a task to be done at the front of the boat, and speed is not an advised ingredient. The mate at the front however, was determined and picked up the loop from the water only to find that the boat sailed on and the boathook broke in two by all the violence, she was probably dragged along on deck for a bit and bumped another mate overboard. Perhaps it was by intend as he could now at least swim for the broken part of the boathook. And while he was there, perhaps he could assist in putting the line through the loop as well? As the boathook was broken it would be difficult to haul the loop aboard and put the rope through it on deck. So it shall be done. And if you cannot find the end of the rope, just dump the whole line overboard and have him figure it out in the water. On paper it sounded as a plan, in real life they forgot to plan the end. The mate in the water tied the rope to the mooring loop but was unable to throw the line that high back to the boat.
I think this whole set of scenes embarrased some of the audience so much that they climbed in their dinghy and offered their help. What a spoiler, the boat was now tightup in less than 2 minutes and the one hour show suddenly ended.

Chapter 3 - lessons learned.
If you cannot sail, dont rent a boat. Or do, and be ok to throw some mates overboard and make an ass out of yourself.