Crew Profiles - second edition!

Sat 30 Aug 2008 21:12

Good evening, Ron Burgundy here,

Once again Oceans 3 have come up with the goods using inside moles and unprecedented access to archive footage of all the comings and goings of the yacht Adventure.

For the first time in weeks, forms of life have been seen!  Unfortunately it was at 12nm and on the radar, as some merchant shipping passed us in the night.  We were in for a surprise a few hours before sunrise as in the distance the faint but distinct noise of aero engines was heard; at first we thought it might have been a Hercules but no it was “Jonny Foreigner”.

Oceans 3 woke this morning to find a scene that looked as if Adventure had run over a low level parachutist.  With a good rub of eyes and insertion of contact lenses, it revealed itself to not be a mystery parachute but Baywatch had kindly done the honours and put up the much mystified spinnaker.  This is a sail that needs to be treated with love and respect or it will bite you on the bum without even asking first.  A quote from one of Baywatch as he was learning how to set up the spinnaker was, “There’s a ‘naughty word’ lot to this sailing lark, ain’t there!”  Once their mission was accomplished they returned to cockpit triumphant heroes with not a single injury to either man nor sail.

We maybe on calm conditions up on deck but down below it looked like a hurricane had been through the galley after Ginger watch had prepared breakfast!!  The wind has been steady from the west, force 3-4, and the sea is still a steady swell.  Most of the crew have been up today taking advantage of the sun shine, with the treat of wearing their sun glasses for the first time!

If Windy is taking the photo, who’s driving?!?!?!

Now for some more character analysing, we join our Adventure watch leaders on the skippers chaise-lounge.  Up first is Ginger watch.

2Lt Stuart Kennon aka “Student”

“I’ve lost my beanie but this will do!”

Age: This is deceptive, he may not be able to buy cigarettes!

Interests: An eccentric public school boy character with a gun-ho attitude to match. His high jinx and school boy humour can sometimes result in only him laughing!  Has a particular passion and drive to one day become an extreme documentary presenter with the panache and style of David Attenborough and a large helping of “Borat”.  His attempt at setting boat fashion has not quite hit the cat walk, with the Robinson Crusoe look SO last century.

SSgt Kevin Harding aka “Kev”

“Are we there yet?”

Age: I dare you to ask me!

Interests: A steely eyed watch leader who always has a smile on his face with and a fag in the making; no matter what the weather.  His sense of humour is as dry as James Bond Vodka Martini but never seems to see an empty glass.  With a quiet, secret passion for a well built motorbike like the sparkling example of the one he owns.  His bluntness at the breakfast table can some times leave the younger members of the crew a little bit bewildered!

Sig Joshua Seller aka “Josh”

“What do you mean I look like Phil Mitchell?”

Age: As it says on the tin

Interests: Our articulate resident sports reporter has a witty repertoire of phrases and retorts for all occasions.  He can often be heard quoting, “Do not confuse your rank with my authority” and even more often, “Who's got the lighter?”  His patient and horizontal character can easily develop into a concerted, vertical effort where nicotine and food are concerned.  He is not at his finest when first woken; a top class surgeon would have difficulty separating him from his sleeping bag.  However, once behind the wheel and with a cup of coffee and 3 fags later his passion for sailing is clear for all to see.  A natural teacher to his watch, Josh can be likened to a cup of gay (herbal) tea.  At first you don't understand why, then you develop the taste for it, and before you know it you are hooked.