An 'Adventure'? Trials & tribulations at 37.5 degrees, horizontal (Mk 2)

Tue 25 Mar 2008 23:09
50:47.36N 001:7.14W
Adventure Day 1. Daz is on the bow, having a Titanic-esque moment. Windy is talking. Skipper is MIA down below. Meanwhile, somewhere warm tea is brewing...
"Does my bum look big in this?"
Day 1 began as it meant to go on: cold. Post-breakfast our 6 day ordeal was described to us (also more commonly known as a 'briefing'), before we liberated the RSYC stores of any kit remotely sailing related. The emigration of the crew to the specially designed, custom-built 45 tone washing machine heralded a celebratory cup of tea. Morning saw a select few secure valuable foodstuffs as the rest of the crew prepared the boat for sail, interspersed with many 'a La NATO' beverages.
The return of Morrison's finest foodstuffs prompted another round of hot wets, along with ploughman's all-round. Meanwhile, a cup of dubious-looking  water/pink granule blend masqueraded as fruit tea of whose origins are still unknown. A passing comment suggested that it was in fact cat litter, and not fruit tea...
As afternoon waned on, Dave was duly dispatched with a faulty GPS unit to Wimbledon. Irony was, he needed a bloody GPS unit to find the place. Meanwhile, the rest of the hardworking crew drank tea (with the occasional biscuit if we performed well). Sails were folded, sheets were coiled lessons were learnt and fingers frost-bitten. As we discussed the finer technical aspects of tacking over a mug or three of NATO-standard, Dave was navigating his way through the glut of London's traffic. The wrong way.
Late afternoon saw the rehearsal of coming-along drills, and yet another round of tea was brewed in eager anticipation of Sir Dave Edmund-Tensing-Hillary-Scott's return. As the light faded and the close of play threatened our tea getting cold, we secured the boat for the night before heading below for much revelry...
A fine curry supper washed down with a selection of fine wines was ended with many a tale from the skipper of acute seasickness and projectile vomiting. Much laughter followed, all of it nervous. As we looked forward to the following days events over yet more beverages, we learnt many a valuable lesson:
1) Linda eats a lot
2) Contrary to popular belief, you cannot jump 8ft whilst still attached to the boat and get away with it
3) The skipper can't actually count, and is impatient!
From within the washing drum,
Red 1
(For the second time)
Khushru 'Khush' Cooper