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Have you figured out the difference between men and women?

Other than listening to that Mars and Venus explanation, I have not studied this phenomenon extensively.  It is pretty clear, however, that there are some basic genetic differences between a man and a woman.  Certainly, we find them in our cruisers community. 

For instance, when a group of cruisers get together, the men talk endlessly about boat repair and maintenance and vividly recall passages from voyages which might have occurred decades ago!. We boys compare stories about fixing our engines; which bottom paint works best and rounding a point of land with gale force winds, shoaling depth, breaking seas, wind against tide and any other possible complication (real or imagined) to terrify the faint of heart.

After a while, the ladies in the group get fed up with all this “machismo talk” and when they have had it “up to here” with our foolishness, they declare a “Spa Day” and they all traipse off together. Spa days usually involve a glass of wine, manicures, pedicures and massages.

We men have no idea what is discussed during these outings but the gals seem to come back happy and with great enthusiasm proclaim, “OK, I can put up with you and your boat fetish a bit longer.”  These spa days seem to prove a useful purpose and the guys started thinking about what we could do to get the same beneficial effect.

A couple of months ago, during Sailfest 2017 in Zihuatenejo, I participated in our revenge.  It was called “A Shot and a Shave.”

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Basically, the boys all traipsed off together in the late morning to a run-down barbershop. As soon as we arrived, the beer coolers open and ice cold beers were passed around. The barber was not invited to partake for reasons that will shortly become obvious.  Let’s just say it had something to do with exposed necks.

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After a silly, macho-man process to determine who had the “cajones” to go first, the first 

sat down in the chair. He is passed a bottle of tequila.  He then takes a shot.  His haircut begins…

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 Prior to the start of each haircut, each cruiser provided very explicit instructions to the barber about how he wanted the barber to proceed. “Leave the back short/long; do/do not trim the sideburns; leave it full/flat on top.”  We, of course, wanted to look our best!

While it was true that the barber spoke no English, it was equally true that everyone pretty much got the EXACT same haircut!  It just did not matter what we told the barber, whether we spoke English or Spanish.

 We all came out looking the same!

Once your haircut was done, you definitely needed another shot of tequila because out came the straight razor. There are, apparently, no “safety razors” in Mexican barbershops. We are talking about cold, hard and (gulp!) sharp steel.  The most disconcerting part is when the barber hits a foot pedal and your head flies backwards prominently exposing your jugular vein and he commences to shave your neck.

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 Those who had not had their turn in the chair continued to drop shots of tequila to boost their confidence. One of the boys declared he would get only a haircut and not the straight razor shave. He was bullied into submission as his manhood was universally insulted.  It was one of those “all for one and one for all” kind of days!

The brand of tequila was Rancho Escondido which translates as the “hidden ranch.”  As you can see, the bottle should have been called “Tequila Escondido” since it emptied before half the boys hit the chair. Luckily, there was a second bottle handy!

 

 
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Finally, we were all done and a celebratory toast was made to the fact that there was no blood on the floor. In truth, there were a few slightly bloody nicks on our faces but, “What the Heck!”

With our new coiffures, we headed off to the Chi Palace for a late afternoon meal of fabulous Mexican-Chinese food where we, unanimously, agreed to put A Shot and a Shave in our calendars for next year’s Sailfest Celebration.

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