1000 Lempira, or how I was very nearly brainwashed.

Roatan has been a bit of an eye opener for me. Not in the way you would imagine though! Oh no, it is something much more sinister and insidious than that…...my husband is….how can I put it…… trying to re-train me!!!!! He is trying to break my shopping ad

I first became suspicious in West End Bay, when Roger gave me 1000 Lempira in case I wanted to buy anything. Very kind I thought.

Let me set the scene, this little town had lots of little shops, bars and cafes, but they are just that….little!  So they don’t take credit cards. So that was his first step in his Machiavellian scheme, take me where they don’t take plastic!!!!

The second step was to give me money, after all he didn’t want to arouse my suspicions, but give me it in such large denominations no one could change it.

It’s a bit like being given a £1000 note. Not big enough that people would be so impressed by your wealth they wouldn’t charge you (like Madonna or Paul McCartney) but big enough that they couldn’t change it.

So that’s how it was. I would go into a shop, see some nice little trinket, but they would not be able to change my 500 lempira notes, so I would leave empty handed. Sneeky huh? Well two can play at that game.

I decided I wanted an ice cream, so I ordered it and when it came to pay she couldn’t change the note, so I said I would get my husband to pay. No problem, she said and I left the shop with my ginger and coconut ice cream.

You see there was a flaw in my husbands thinking, he had based it on our western ‘civilised’ culture and not the trusting, honest culture here.

So not only did I get my ice cream, but Roger paid and I still had my 1000 lempira!!!!! (who’s the sucker now huh???)

Today I saw the next stage in his plan.

He takes me to places where there are no shops, or if there are there is nothing I want to buy. That way I appreciate even the smallest shopping ‘treat’, like a visit to a supermarket!!!!

Yes, today I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Here at Barefoot they do a twice weekly grocery shopping run to the Eldon supermarket.

When I walked in my smile lit up the aisles, they had things I recognised, they had cheese and lots of other goodies, but I was unable to control my excitement when I walked down that home baking aisle…….they had cookie mixes!!

 Before I knew it I was ‘whey heying’ to myself…. out loud!!! Yes, such has been my deprivation of late that I flipped when I saw that I could make cookies for Roger.  How sad is it that I am thrilled at being able to buy 2 packs of Swiss Maid chocolate???

2000 lempira later, I boarded the little bus, pleased as punch with my purchases. At least I was until I spoke to Rosanna, the lady from the catamaran behind me. I was happily raving over my purchases (you would have thought I got a pair of Jimmy Choo’s for a fiver) when she smiles and calmly says ‘if you think that’s good, wait until you go to Plaza del mar!!!

So now I am getting excited, not at the prospect of my diving tomorrow, no, at the prospect of going to another super market!!!! I’m obviously in a lot more trouble than I thought!!!

He’s even got a way of dealing with my ebaying. Yes, I heard your gasps from here.

He just keeps us moving around the world, not because it was his dream to sail to Australia, no that was just his cover. No, it is because that way I can never get anything delivered, so I can’t buy anything.

What he doesn’t know is that I have contacted my network and ‘safe houses’ are in place to receive goods and hold them until I contact them (god bless you all, you know who you are)

I mean a girl has to shop!!!!!