Tom’s Crew
Report
Starship Mina2
– Day 20
Help! Help! – is there anyone out there reading this crew
blog? It is 11.30pm, beautiful calm
sea with a little wind to sail on. A huge beautiful moon is rising in the east
shining its glittering lunescence on the sea. The sky is full of millions of
bright stars. The Southern Cross plain to see in the south with the glittering
planet Venus low in the western sky.
I am
secretly typing away on the Captain’s computer, with
Lawrence keeping watch outside the
Captain’s state room. He is asleep and his intoxicated snoring is incessant. We
managed to get the computer code off him while he was in his usual intoxicated
state the previous evening.
Get
us off this boat!! No! Let me rephrase that. The boat is a
beautiful sleek Oyster 485 cutter rigged. Strong as an ox, it will confidently
take on any big sea and high winds. In the Southern Ocean it glided over waves
as tall as houses with 50 knot winds. Yet as graceful as a swan on a
millpond.
No!
Get this skipper off the boat! This tyrannical megalomaniac is making our life a
misery.
Oh
my God, Lawrence has run back from
position outside Skipper’s room and is cowering behind me, screaming “It’s the
Skipper! … He’s having one of his turns!!!”Out comes this dishevelled, eyes
rolling, wild tyrant bellowing like some primordial monster, wielding his
gnarled oak punishment club.
I
rugby tackle him to the floor and Lawrence grabs a bottle of Cachaça (potent
Brazilian spirit made from fermented cane sugar – add some crushed limes and
sugar for a perfect cocktail), and managed to pour some down his throat. This
does the trick and Skipper is now quietly sitting, sucking his thumb and nodding
his head while dribbling down his soiled T-shirt. Bless him!
I
had already added Avomine to the Cachaça. This is a powerful antihistamine, used
for seasickness (recommended by Venetia – read the blog).
It also has a powerful narcotic effect (makes you sleepy).
His
dramatic mood swings have been worrying us. Should we lock him in his cabin?
Should we remove his cocktail cabinet? Should we just let him watch on his
50” plasma TV his
collection of childrens’ cartoons of Zebedee and The Magic Roundabout, the
Wooden Tops, Bill and Ben, and, of course, his favourite Captain Pugseye and
Roger the cabin boy, featuring Seaman Staines!!
Decisions!! Decisions!! With this megalomaniacal tyrant
in charge, we have lost the power of making any.
A
decision maker he is. And of the highest quality! I digress. Tim is the best
boat captain I have sailed with . His knowledge of the sea, boats, navigation
and all thing’s nautical is immense .I have total confidence in him in any sea
condition…..I would sail with him anywhere.
“Ouch, Skip, you’re breaking my arm” …. “
Lawrence – get the Cachaça
!!!”
