Take 2 old men - combined age over 120 , one old Volvo estate - 230,000 miles on the clock , stuff it full of watermaker, hydrovane, parasailor, storm sails and whisker pole, pump up the back tyres until they’re nearly bursting, head for Greece at midnight on a bank holiday in the UK , and you have a recipe for disaster.

Customs at Dover took great interest in the 20 foot pole on the roof but eventually let us through once they were happy it wasn’t a rocket launcher.  Driving through Europe was easy - sleeping in the front seats of the Volvo wasn’t. Switzerland was cold. Barrie swore he wouldn’t do that again and would sleep on the ground by the car next night. Paul just swore. Barrie soon changed his mind when a pack of dogs came sniffing round him so we had another night of torture. Finally reached Bari in Italy for the ferry to Corfu. Had to wait hours while they reversed about 300 huge articulated trucks up 2 ramps onto the ferry.  Amazing skill by the drivers.

Not to be outdone the Italian airforce turned up to show off their skills – either that or the charter flights to Greece had started

Breakfast found us in Corfu and we were reunited with Peejay in Gouvia marina. Volvo still going strong – 2 old men feeling decidedly older. List of jobs was looking daunting.

Unpacking the car only took about 3 hours. We grew to hate the ladder at the back of Peejay. The boat quickly started to look suspiciously like Benji’s bedroom.

Real sleep, several beers, some red wine and a bottle of rum made things look a whole lot better. Peejay soon went back in the water.

The worst thing you can do to a boat is to cut lots of holes in it so Barrie got out his jigsaw and drill and got started.  Not satisfied he borrowed my hacksaw and told me to go and buy a chisel. He was ecstatic – I was a bit thoughtful. I should have known better. Barrie had been refurbishing his bathroom at home for months and left for Corfu with pipes hanging at jaunty angles and a bath looking nice on the landing. Peejay soon looked similar and I began to feel sorry for Margery who was now washing in the back garden. I knew how she felt. Never mind - a few more beers and another bottle of rum cheered me up no end. Barrie hit a problem – his drill wasn’t big enough. He asked for the axe but I swiftly out manoeuvred him and called in the cavalry. The cavalry was called Wolfgang and turned up with an enormous hole cutter. His delightful sense of humour soon put me at ease – quote “Paul – you might not want to watch this.” Beer consumption intensified.

10 days in Corfu passed all too soon – we were working 14 hours a day. The list of jobs got longer – I’m not sure it’s supposed to work like that. So Barrie promised to come back and finish off what he started. We left for the port in Corfu for the long drive home. The Volvo threw a tantrum and refused to go into gear. Barrie had a think and went for his jigsaw. The Volvo thought better of it and behaved again. It never missed a beat all the way home. Italy to Yorkshire in under 24 hours.  Barrie went back to his bathroom.