Day 18 1200 Thursday 10th December

They started when I was moving the boat from Greece to the Canary Islands. I think it’s to do with sleep deprivation. Maybe when you do finally get to sleep your brain is so confused it goes into overdrive.

I’m talking about dreaming and the longer I spend on the boat the more weird they become. I don’t usually dream much so there must be some connection.

The best one while moving the boat through the Mediterranean was when Roger Federer was coming round to my house so that I could cook him a meal. Now I neither know Roger nor am I ever likely to meet him. So what was all that about?

Another dream while going across the Atlantic was when I was trying to pass through USA immigration. I made the mistake of looking this official in the eye and he got very cross and told me to stand in another line of people. This line then each had to perform a song and dance routine to get through. Luckily my Elvis impression of Heartbreak Hotel was deemed good enough and I was allowed on my way.

Then there was the time when I was sent to South America to help the president of whatever country it was to fight off a coup. It all hinged around him being seen alive in the presidential car. The problem was that it wouldn’t go unless I could get hold of a short piece of rubber hosing. There was only one such piece left in the country and the rebels had it in a secure house. Two men were inside holding the tube and hiding under a bed. Luckily they fell asleep more easily than me and I was able to climb in through the window, retrieve the prize and save the day for the president.

The last dream I had was about a pirate taking control of my yacht and steering it away across the horizon..

I think it’s time I got off this boat.