The Second South American Inquisition
MALARKEY
Jo & Trevor Bush
Wed 16 Nov 2011 03:01
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A taxi ride from the farm to the local bus
station in Las Lagos, an overnight bus to Santiago, a local bus ride to the
airport, a flight to Lima, a taxi to the international bus station and an
overnight bus to Nasca........phew. Now you get an idea of what it's like
travelling around South America. I was beginning to think that I was too old
& knackered to be an English Conquistador. And all that was to get to the
famous Nasca lines in Peru. WHAT A RIP OFF
I admit, I was intrigued by the Nasca Conspiracy
Theory. Basically Nasca was designated a UNESCO World Heritage site in 1994
because of these recently discovered ancient markings that can only be
seen, or at least, only be properly observed, from the
air. Clearly, there were no airplanes around in those days (over 2000 years
ago) to appreciate these fascinating markings..........or were there........(cue
the dramatic music) dah, dah daaah. This is where the conspircay theory comes
in. Were these markings made for the pleasure of some 'heavenly being'? and were
they runway lines of an airport for their 'space craft'?....... Of
course not....you numb nutts. It was some ancient megalomaniac giving some
slaves a job to do for no other reason than a personal whim........an absolute
folly of grand proportions. Of course, I knew that all along, and I also know
that Star Trek isn't really real. But I do prefer the idea that this guy was an
ancient scammer with a great sense of fun and is laughing in his grave at
all of us more advanced homosapiens taking time out and spending loads of
money to see these poxy scratchings in the earth......nice one, oh
great Chief Humouro of Nasca.
I am just glad that when we went to the airport, we
failed to take one of the rip-off Nasca Line flights. Yes,.....
$100/person. Thank goodness, we were too late for the last flight
in one of their tiny garden sheds with wings, they called an
'avionetta'.........more like a 'Peruvian death-trap', if you ask me. Anyway,
just to add the final nail in the Nasca coffin, the place itself was a
dump.
  Chief Takethepisso and his
museum
Chica
Mala
The only saving grace was the visit to the Nasca
museum, nearby the airport, where we met Chief Humouro's great, great,
great......etc.etc grandson, good old 'not so great'
Chief Takethepisso.
The museum was a privately run affair, probably
owned by old Chief Takethepisso himself but it was well stocked with ancient
finds, including the mummified skull of a chica mala. This 'chica
mala' was basically a 'bad girl' who was thought to have told
lies.......hence the nails through here lips. Harsh justice, me thinks, but it
does have a place even in todays society possibly with certain chicas malas I
know.' And to top it off, we had an ancient ritual performed on us. Old
Chief Takethepisso made us close our eyes and hold hands while he danced around
us shaking his medicine stick and sprinkling water over us. Some were
convinced they could feel energy passing through our hands. I just felt wet and
bloody foolish but it did make me smile and was definitely worth the small
entrance fee.
But on a serious note, it was a real eye opener
with regard to the poverty in South America.
  A Peruvian shanty
town Nasca
lines.......great aren't they?
The local mining workforce live in sad
shanty towns with one room houses made from wicker type stuff. And these houses
were for the lucky ones......they had a job and a roof over their head. Some,
mostly the women, resorted to begging on the streets, probably 'cos the men of
the family sent them there. But these poor pathetic creatures, slumped
pitilessly on street corners infront of lavish Catholic Churches, begging for
their next meal, certainly drove home the injustice and hypocrisy in this
part of the world. And yes, we did our bit, we gave alittle money to most
of the beggars we came across and to those that say 'you are only encouraging
them to beg more',......have a heart.
Ho hum,......basically we'd had enough of
Nasca and couldn't get out of there fast enough. So we caught the
next bus out to Arequipa.
Now, Arequipa on the other hand, is a place well
worth visiting. A grand colonial city in the
Andes mountains at the foot of the El Misti volcano. It is all very bazaar and wonderful. I never could get my head around
why anyone would build a city only 10 miles from an active
volcano,....its very strange but true. The upside however, is the
beautiful view you have of the snow capped mountains, while siting on a rooftop
terrace eating breakfast....splendid.
  Sleepy Jo taking a rooftop
breakfast
Main Arequipa square with a mountain backdrop
There was a lot to see and do in and
around Arequipa and we spent much longer there than intended. Things were
partially hindered by our health. We couldn't decide if it was the water, food,
the altitude or all three that was causing our head aches, nausea and quite
frankly......the shits, big time. A tip for wood-be stock market investors,....
buy into Peruvian toilet tissue. There's tonnes of it being used!! It's my guess
that each individual in Peru buys 5 times the international average. Nothing
wrong with good old fashioned money making........profit out of other peoples
suffering!!
Moving on,....other than moseying around the town
sampling the delights of bars & restaurants, a trip to the local
monastery was in order.   Yet another pretty Arequipa
plaza
Park entertainment Peruvian style
Santa Catalina is one of the finest examples of
colonial architecture in South America. The monastery is not just one building
but a city within a city. It illustrates the religious &
historical art and the life of the Dominican Nuns that live there to this
day. Sorry,.... beginning to sound like the Peruvian tourist Board, but it was
cool building and a must see if you go to Arequipa.
   Monastery
courtyard
Pretty alleyway for Nuns to
stroll
Rats.......no, guinea pigs, the local delicacy
Part of our overall plan was to see some of
the South American countryside, all close-up and personal. Jo had
planned on doing some trekking in the Andes. It was also a fiendish plan to get
our lardy arses into shape ready for the big trek to Machu Piccu at the end of
our tour. The famous 3 day 2 night Colca Canyon Trek was only a stones throw
away. This canyon is over twice as deep as the Grand Canyon at 4260m high and is
promoted as the deepest canyon in the world. So armed with a walking stick, a
rucksack filled with goodies and a determined resolve, we set off for the
canyon.
Cripes, what a shock. I have put some lard on
while we have been away cruising but I have always thought myself fit. WRONG. I
put it down to partly the altitude, partly my over-weight rucksack, the shits
but mostly my serious lack of fitness. While ascending, I had to stop every
10 minutes gasping for breath. It was like sucking air through a straw. Going
down was fine, besides I had gravity on my side, but going
up........naah.
And there was a fair bit of going up and
down to do but we managed to stagger to base camp ok. But the following day
was the 1000m ascent up a zig zag path clinging to a vertical cliff
face. The final test was upon us. And I tackled it with the verve and grit
you would expect from a determined salty seadog Brit and ................took a
donkey up instead. Yes I bottled it, but there's more. To really rub
my nose in it, I was charged double for a stronger donkey!.
Well bless that donkeys cotton socks, he was a
real beast of burden. He carried my sorry arse right to the top of the mountain
but nearly collapsed at the top. The girls behind were having a right
'mare' of a trip. The donkeys were fighting and trying to overtake each other on
the narrowest of paths. There was quite a rumpus going on behind with mucho
girly screaming and I do believe that all of us were glad to get
off.
The scenery was stunning and there were lots of
condors flying around to add to the atmosphere and if our battery in the camera
hadn't gone flat we would have lots of pictures to prove it. So you will have to
trust me, if you are in the area........go and trek the Colca Canyon, but get
fit first.
The following pictures are by courtesy of Matt
& Jean (Supertedv)
  Its a long way
down Still
along way to go
  El
Condor
The beasts of burden
  The only group members to walk up......well
done!
The best bit........the crack with the Irish at the
end.
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