The Ice Cream Maker

Bardeau returns across Atlantic
Robert Bard
Tue 21 Aug 2012 13:31
Talking technically we were at 47:43.44N 005:04.43W In plain English just about to head into Biscay. Enough technicalities though, here is the nitty gritty. The Bread Maker incident came good last night. I felt it unfair on eco wotsits, treehuggers and conservationists to chuck 'The Blob' over the side. I did not want to be held responsible for the extinction of the last Great White Shark in the Bay of Biscay. In an act of vandalous desperation I hit the 'Fast Bake' button, whilst enjoying a bottle of Chateau Nash and Australia's Finest with the crew up on deck. One needs to be seen...especially as I seem tobe emerging from the Master-Suite later and later every morning. I feel it does morale good to presss the crewly flesh every now and again. Anyway, upon returning to the galley area in search of an early evening Cointreau and Ice I looked in the bread-maker and there to my shock was a perfectly formed loaf of bread. It's one of two things. Either I should have hit fast bake the first time, or the crew stuck a Sainsbury part baked in there.
Was going to make Ice Cream this afternoon but due to Jill deciding to cook us all lunch the galley is not passable. Pizza for 3 hungry firemen,1 sleeping Australian, and two finicky women were located from the freezer and placed in the oven. As it's my boat the crew eat Tesco bottom shelf I wouldn't serve it to the servants stuff....and I am dining on Harrods Finest Upper Crust Pizzas for bored languid yacht owners. Next thing we knew the galley was full of smoke. One of the firemen, mentioning no names Steve, has taken the batteries out of the smoke alarms, soI found myself near unconscious at the chart table whilst they all sunbath upstairs. Fortunately it was only cheese dripping off the pizzas onto the oven burners that caused the thick smoke and vile smell. We will now all to have to eat upstairs as its pretty nasty down here...like a London smog with a long lingering smell. Still I enjoy watching the autohelm... oneof the three firemen has just noticed smoke billowing out of the hatch....no wonder the public services have gone to the dogs ! Anyway, once its safe to return to the galley I will locate and report on the progress of today's culinary ice cream trials.,....prob this evening....

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