40:25S 162:34E
Tales of Amok's Adventures
Mike Jones
Mon 20 Jan 2014 09:34
We enjoyed a fantastic 24 hour run today; a whopping 186 miles!!
Hopefully you will be able to see that we've passed the halfway milestone; always a welcome sight.
Thought I would draft a "for sale" advert for the cooker / oven that would go something like this:
For sale: 1 Stainless steel Diesel Cooker/Oven, 1 careful owner who has treated it with kid gloves since new. Bought at the London boatshow amidst false promises of excellent reliability, no fumes during start up/operating and easy to maintain.
Allegedly only requires a 12v supply and small quantity of diesel. In reality, it requires patience, a calm attitude and an ability for those needing to maintain said cooker to morph into a 1 foot high mini contortable technician with extensive tool supply, infinite wisdom and tolerance to gain access to the poorly located burner. The ability to build PCB's from scratch would be an advantage.
The cooker is stunning to look at, easy to keep clean and works well occasionally. The oven is also stunning to look at, but there is no need for it to be easy to clean because it doesn't work despite having all new parts (read $$$) fitted in Hobart.
Beyond the flash exterior, the inside of the cooker has lethally sharp edges which are so good at consistently cutting the unsuspecting maintainer, that a box of bandaids should be supplied as standard.
Without warning nor for any known reason, said cooker will suddenly stop working, usually with raw chicken in the pan and when the crew is really hungry.
The highly intuitive LED panel will simply start flashing, given the hungry user no clue as to what the issue is. Hungry user can then attempt to restart said cooker several times with the same result of the useless flashing light, only for it to light randomly on the 8th attempt. By this time, the chicken has started to go off and hungry crew has found that red wine and whiskey has a calming effect on appetite.
The cooker doesn't like Port tack, doesn't like motion, is fussy about it's voltage supply, is fickle regarding its fuel supply, and goes through expensive spare parts at a rate of knots to no avail. It doesn't like having its temperature adjusted; and seems to have greatest likelihood of working when on full blast. if the hungry user so much as looks at said cooker the wrong way, said cooker will flash. Similarly, if hungry user swears or curses at said cooker due to loss of patience, hungry user should start using the microwave immediately as said cooker is a lost cause.
Said cooker often sends out great plumes of rich fumy smoke for fun, causing all the unsuspecting boat occupants to rush to the deck with red rimmed eyes and hacking coughs. A vote will then take place on deck as to whose turn it is to go below and vent the boat of all fumes. Boat will likely smell fumy for several days afterwards.
The cooker/oven is offered to unsuspecting boatowners free of charge, but collection must arranged from 40 degrees 25 min south and 162 degrees 35 min east. The cooker will be buoyed off with a yellow fishing buoy and will be at about 10m suspended depth.
There is no need for those interested in said item to contact the seller to voice their interest, just collect from the above mentioned location. Naturally, this item is offered without guarantees or promises.
END OF ADVERT
The girls enjoyed some fantastic cooking today, compliments of the blue team. some fantastic homemade soup for lunch, followed by a tasty chicken curry for dinner. We are truly spoiled.
xx SS xx
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