We have arrived at A Coruna having decided to hole up here for a few days ( actually until next Friday /Saturday ) until all the unpleasant weather has gone away and we can carry on with our leisurely amble down to Madeira.

Firstly an apology . I haven’t yet got the photos ready to post , I would have done if it hadn’t been for the bottle of Albarino slowing me down a bit – but I solemnly promise I’ll post them tomorrow. I bet you’re really excited aren’t you ?

I huge thank you to all those who were concerned about my dramatic weight loss of a whole stone over four days. It was quite humbling to know how much you all cared. Well – good news . You can all relax . Turns out all I needed was two beers and move the scales off the carpet and everything’s back to normal.  Some of you may be quick witted enough to notice that this miraculous recovery has a flip side . A clue …………….Janet only lost two pounds !! Dodgy bit of carpet , magnetic anomaly – could be lots of reasons . Whatever , please don’t mention it in your Whatsapps and such.

Anyone who knows me well  will be aware that I rarely moan , criticise , or make a fuss unless under extreme pressure . I know this next issue doesn’t effect a huge proportion of the population but it is serious enough to have a little rant about , namely ,    --------   wet weather gear. To those unfamiliar with sailing attire this consists of a pair of salopettes , as used by skiers , and a waterproof jacket.

Now, in order charge the price of a small family car for what is ultimately a pair of dungarees and an anorak they do something special. They add lots of zips and Velcro . The issue with this is that you stick to everything . I lost my head torch one night only to discover in the morning that it had stuck to the Velcro on my right shoulder !  That is a minor issue , I know , at least if you lose something you can guarantee it will turn up stuck to you somewhere a few days later.

No , the real problem is relieving yourself of all that non alcoholic liquid Janet seems necessary for my survival.

Obviously a great deal of thought went into the design of this gear , probably by some numpty who has  never been on a boat and tried standing on one leg at 45 degrees in the dark trying to put his trousers  on. Whoever this bloke is he was obviously badgered by his wife to get the lady set up right , subsequently Janet has two zips down the back allowing her to drop a ramp  ( think Thunderbird 2 ) leaving her plenty of access to load or unload. This same bloke then had to consider us men . What to do ?  “ I know “ he said “ I’ll make the zip at the front  open from the top or the bottom thereby allowing you to release your little friend to the fresh air”. Fantastic ! Genius ! Why didn’t I think of that ? Well , if I had thought of that I would have bloody well made sure the bottom part of the zip was a lot lower than my belly button. No doubt John Holmes would have had no problem , but no amount of positive attitude would let my one eyed trouser snake see the light of  day .

I do have a solution , I am going to nick Janets and wear them back to front . Not sure how she’ll cope but perhaps she can pee out off her belly button

A Coruna is a lovely town , not seen much of it yet but have bought two bottles of wine , a bottle of sherry and a knee brace ( don’t ask ) .

More soon