15:16S 6:18W

Tales of Amok's Adventures
Mike Jones
Tue 2 Feb 2010 19:21
Well me luverlies, I have escaped me chains in the paint locker, screwed on me wooden leg and made a run for the chart table to send a saga of woe.

The diesel cooker is on her monthly cycle and down right refused to start last night which resulted in me and Moby having snags boiled in the kettle and then poked into a tin of cold baked beans, pirate food, luverely.
The girlies had something cold(sic).

At four bells in the dog watch I was on my way forward and kicked the bloody stove in passing and it started up, we all enjoyed lamb stew and garlick dumplings for breakfast at 0630 hrs.

Moby and Meercat have been doing fancy ropework, hence we have turks heads and rope mats all over the boat, Sterling completely lost the plot when she announced she was going to make a wine cooler out of rope. I volunteered to test by drinking the wine.

We are about to rock up at St Helena tomorrow which we are all looking forward to, a visit to Napoleon's House of confinement post Waterloo, his grave before the frogs exhumed him and dragged him off to the Arc de Triumphe in Paris France (for N.Americans).

We are also going to meet Uncle David, a well known Saint, and long lost distant relative. We spoke to him from Ascension Island and he said he would be delighted to see us although I don't think he had a clue who we were. or even are! (ed!) what about who we'd like to be?? hic (ed!)

Ascension Is was an amazing place, parts of it looked like the moon, parts like a Bond movie and green mountain was like Surrey countryside (or Margaret River). There are no indigenous people, all the workers come from St Helena and work on Govmnt contracts, the rest are American contractors!!! and MOD contractors!!! enough said. It's the sort of place you don't ask who do you work for? and what do you do? If you are Canadian and do ask, you do not get an answer.

After two days everyone knew who we were and where we were going. We followed local advice and went up Green Mountain to chop down a banana tree, so we now have 500 green bananas sitting in the galley and we are willing them to ripen, no luck yet. they may yet join the Iberian Ham... I was amazed to note that bananas grow upwards and not downwards, it caused a lot of discussion onboard as to which way up they should be hung to get them to ripen. Laura's mum suggested putting them in a brown paper bag, I have not worked out how to get 500 bananas in a bag and if I could what would I do with 500 ripe bananas??

I befriended a Saint called Dungie (nick name??) who insisted in buying me a pint of draught guinness in the Saints Club. Turns out his wife on St Helena is God daughter to Uncle David. He then insisted in inviting us to the Sunday afternoon deep fry Turkey party. First time I have seen a 12lb turkey cooked in 40 minutes.

Ascension Island has a 2.6 mile long runway and was designated as the standby runway for the shuttle landings. Apparently, it was the world's busiest airport during the Falkland's conflict.

Oh well I have been ordered back to the paint locker as we are approaching land.

Fair winds and all the best

Oh, food parcels to Post restaunt St Helena.

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