2 for the price of 1

Panatlantic
Wed 12 Dec 2007 12:19
Hi all, it appears the blogs didn't go online for the last 2 days, so here you go! - expect anothe from James this afternoon....
love and wet hugs,
Niall
 
Wash Day (from James, 10/12/2007)
 
hi everyone from somewher in the atlantic!
things are going well, the weather has really settled and the seas with it so we now have a small amount of swell and wind pushing us generally in the right direction. by all accounts we have already passed half the fleet and are closing in on a couple more, however our focus has shifted from racing to getting across as fast as possible. it may sound like the same thing but isnt, we discovered that if you become obsessed woth racing you can push yourself too hard and with such a long way to go we cannot afford burnout or injury.
general moral is pretty good, the speakers are now wprking so its great to have a bit of music as a welcome distraction. we have both discovered that it hurts far too much to row naked and have resorted back to shorts to cut down the amount of salt getting directly to the skin. its a big relief as i dont know more times i could handle having to look at niall's chaffed ass squeezing throught the cabin hatch. not a pretty sight i can tell you!
we have been in touch with family and friends evryday so far via email or sat phone which has been great! they continue to be outstandingly supportive. its especially tough for me as i have never experienced anything like this so am finding being away from loved ones especially tough. Niall on the other hand is a bit more experienced spending time on his own so on the whole is coping very well.
 
today was an exciting day, with the seas relatively calm we had our first proper wash since leaving (probably longer for niall!). this consisted of a kettle full of water and some shower gel and i have to say felt great. to get rid of all of the sea salt was superb but niw less than a day later i am covered again! it certainly wasnt an easy job washing everywhere, for those of you who are familiar with the boat there isnt exactly a lot of room and it rocks all over the place!
 
with progress continuing at this rate we can expect to reach antigua in 5 days or less, however we are headeing south to the trade winds which should blow us across to antigua at a much quicker pace. we aree both hoping to get there in less than 50 days, and anything under that will be a missive bonus and mean extra time to relax the other side!
 
definately the hardest part of this challenge is the mental side, the body will learn to adapt to the rowing side but with so much time on your own the challenge is to occupy the mind with anything other than how much youd like to be sat at home with a cold magners. the night shifts of 2 hours on/off are especially hard so i am now listening to audio books, harry potter at the moment. niall by all accounts sings to himself but fortunately i cant hear him from the cabin.
 
thanks again to everyone who keeps emailing us, keep them coming through.
 
love to everyone
 
james
 
 
Running Repairs (from Niall, 11/12/2007)
 
Good day to you all,
Sorry yesterday's is a day late, James spelled the address wrong again! Here's 2 for the price of 1!
Well we're now a week in and going well. Conditions have improved greatly, we now have a nice Force2 (occasional 3) blowing us towards Antigua which is due to stay around for the next 72 hours or so, which we intend to take full advantage of. Conditions aren't quite perfect, the oceanic swell is pushing us at about 240 degrees and the wind at about 270 degrees, which means there are 2 different wave directions consistently coming at us, but it's hardly a chore to be honest! It makes things a little difficult at night though, as you can't see the waves coming, you line up on one set and hope the other doesn't upset your balance too greatly....
By our calculations we continue to make around 50nm per day, which is satisfactory for the time being. now that conditions are better James and i have been rowing together a little more and we are apparently due to catch 2 more boats soon and are beginning to close on the leaders...
Physically we're both doing pretty well. We naturally have blistered hands - which are toughening up now - and James' feet are nastily blistered too as we row barefoot. We appear to be passing under a giant hole in the ozone layer as the sun has suddenly got frighteningly hot and i managed to burn through the factor 30 yesterday, which feels good next to salty clothes!
Our arses are another matter altogether. What a mess! I spoke too soon about recovery, during my convalescence i appear to have caught a nasty bout of boat MRSA (Major Relapse of Sore Arse) but i think i've figured out the major contributing factors (apart from rowing, of course) and am working on a solution. Not wearing anything with a seam down the middle of the ass is solution number 1. he he, while i sat rowing last night, my salt-encrusted bum-hairs gleefully doing unto me as the Sodomites did unto each other, i had plenty of time to think of what to call this new bout of bum-agony, MRSA seemed perfect and i naturally went through several ideas to fit the acronym.... a few choice others were: My Ripped and Swollen Anus; Malevolent Return to a Sore Arse; and My Rectum's Sore As ****.
As at all times, i have taken solice in the good book: Psalm 46: "Yay though thou ass thalt be in tatters, and pieces of it lieth around you, be thou comforted for blessed art they who chaff and remain true to the Lord. I am the Lord."
Today we had our first dolphin sighting since day 1, they weren't particularly interested in us though and headed off straight away. My suspicion is that they have heard that one of the other boats is carrying a 'dolphin' on board with them..... yes (lads from work will love this), one of the other rowers was spotted packing her dildo, called the dolphin! Brilliant! After a cursory glance at me and James, we were evidently ruled out as being dildo-carriers, and they moved rapidly on. Wonderful creatures, we will never tire of seeing them.
We make 30 litres of water every couple of days, using our Schenker watermaker, and turned it on first thing this morning to a hissing sound..... was it a loose connection? Or worse, a broken gasket? i won't write exactly what was said, but it rhymed with 'clucking bell'. Disaster, 1 week in and the watermaker's broken already! We have a back up, which requires one hour of pumping by hand to make 5 litres of water.... hardly an attractive prospect! Before panic settled in (and after a nice dolphin-interlude) we decided to put our trust in modern technology and turned to the satellite phone....luckily our sponsor Jim from Mactra answered his phone and after 10 minutes of twisting knobs and purging valves (stop me if i'm getting too technical) we tried it again... and i'm happy to announce we're back in the game!
My joy at the discovery that our speakers are working again was shattered after 2 excellent hours of the Rolling Stones, when the MP3 player that Pete Bird (of Atlantic Quest, 37 day 4 man crossing in early 2007) gave me decided to pack up and die! Now Pete, i don't mean to sound ungrateful, but those seat covers you gave us are an absolute bloody nighmare, they were fine on flat water but out here where you're being buffeted about constantly they are terrible, and now this, a faulty MP3? I smell a stitch up!! I was looking forward to hearing King Louis sing 'king of the swingers' himself, but it looks like i'll be giving myself rendition after rendition again!
So it is back to singing to myself and thinking random thoughts again..... speaking of which, my mind turned to the phrase 'teaching grandma to suck eggs' last night, and i ruminated on it for the majority of my shift thereafter..... What on earth posessed anyone to suck on an egg? Or is that is actually what this means? Forgive my  prudishness, but asking my grandma, or any woman in polite society for that matter, to "suck my eggs" does not sound particularly gentlemanly. I for one won't be sucking eggs - metaphorical or otherwise - any time soon!
This episode did, however, remind me of one of the funniest and most disturbing/confusing things i have ever seen; one of those incidents (like seeing the monkeys masturbating at the Zoo) when all who have witnessed it realise that they have seen something very wrong and silently agree not to talk about it again..... I was in Belize for Christmas of 2003, in a small border-town where 90% of the population are drunk and the other 10% work in bars! I exited a supermarket with my brothers and there, infront of us, were 2 men. One of them was pouring an egg down the throat of the other one and sayiing "todo in uno! Todo in uno!" (all in one in Spanish, not interchangable with Hasta la Vista, as i have had to explain to James!), the other one had his head tilted right back to afford the optimum angle for pouring an egg into his mouth and was bodily shaking, spasming uncontrollably from his head down his ape-long arms to his legs... his friend (the egger) grinned and squealed with joy as the last bit of albumen was consumed and the eggee grimaced and continued to spasm. The egger reached into his coat pocket and pulled out another egg, which was obviously too much for the eggee who shook his head (discernable from the rest of his spasming) and turned to walk away. I have no explanation for what occurred, why it occurred or whether such an action has ever been repeated, perhaps they too had been cogitating on the why grandma would suck an egg?!
Right good people i shall leave you there. James shall return tomorrow to this blog site and to Original Bristol 106.5fm (you can catch us live at about 7:50am or on podcast on www.originalbristol.com) and i shall be back again on thursday.
Until then, take care of your behinds, and those of your loved ones,
Niall