Chinese tonight and I have rooked
Bardeau returns across Atlantic
Robert Bard
Thu 13 Sep 2012 09:57
Well, boring stuff first. We are hurtling along Alton Towers like with a
large Atlantic Swell up our chuff and 15 to 20 knots of wind goose winged.
We vary between 6 and 9 knots depending on the size of wave we find
ourselves surfing down. We have headsail and mainsail out and since at least
£500 out of our £700 Morrisons shop has been drunk, and eaten, we are
lighter than when we started....which might account for our new found
expected speed. Expecting to get a glimpse of Lanzarotte by morning.
Now for the important stuff. The great Cook Off. Dave cooked his finest
Fahita last night,and the Surprise pud was no surprise because it was my
home made vanilla ice cream...which wasn't. It was more cream than ice.
Crunch up two crunchy bars and make it special they said. You did what? put
in two crunchy bars ? Of course it wont set they said... Emergency action
was taken last night when Dundee attempted to resuscitate the substance by
placing it in the freezer again. This morning it still hadn't frozen despite
Arctic temperatures in the freezer. You should of put the crunchies in after
freezing they said. Why didn't you tell me I said. We thought you would know
oh knowledgeable guru they said. My knowledge is far deeper, far more
cerebral than what will happen if you put a crunchy in the ice cream whilst
mixing in the ice cream maker I said....
My watch was 8pm to 11pm, and I was woken promptly 11pm at my position by
the starboard helm by David who was doing the 11pm to 2 am. Everything OK?
he asked. No, you woke me up, I replied.
Today is Pizza for lunch with various fusions and potions. Dundee says this
will be his revenge for losing the Ashes. I've looked everywhere and see no
ashes so god know what he's wittering on about. Tonight however is Dundees
answer to Dave's opening shots: it's on-board Chinese night. It has been
suggested that there will be similarities to the A la Carte Menu of one's
favourite eaterie, The Great Wall, at Gosport,with the exception of course,
that when I present myself for dinner tonight on deck there won't be a nasty
little man saying 'Roctor Rard, you ro rook......next time you rook...'