Alex 2nd Diary
Thisbe
Sun 10 Dec 2006 13:40
What was previously a daunting idea and distance slowly sinks into your
psychology of 'the norm' making me very aware not to count minutes or miles
until the end as this will degrade the achievement. The conditions may begin
to feel cramped and invade on you but this is not to say that the mind
doesn't alter and adapt to these changes by way of simply compressing the
information you already know further into your own head. Opinions and ideas
which you had previously which were only at the embryonic stage are now
steadfast concrete plans which you know you will do and insecurities about
minor elements of your personality which may have been a challenge to you
have been ironed out into new seams of wisdom which you can tap into for
inspiration.
This feeling would obviously be magnified the further you went or the harder
you pushed yourself to complete any mental or physical challenge but it is
the sheer isolation and cycle of nature to support your senses which brings
you to these new planes of wisdom. They may not be obvious glaring gems or
sparks of genius to anyone but they are like gold to yourself, a whole mine
of answers for which you need never ask questions again. A bit like having
the answers to every question you have ever asked in a lifetime compressed
on to a single disk entitled 'Atlantic Ocean' as this is how I will now come
to view it, it is a clear benchmark now, a new clearer line drawn in the
sand. I think the compression process in the mind has been exacerbated by
the over compensation of movement as we were not expecting the physical
challenge which we have encountered due to long periods of rough weather.
The next time you step aboard a boat avoid sea sickness by simply accepting
the motion as something natural and reminding yourself that you must first
concede in order to find solace at sea. The sea only does what it knows, '
it ' does not know you so you must try to learn ' it '. Every day there is a
new rhythm, sometimes two rhythms crossing each other and there is no fixed
way of overcoming it without first giving up and while you sit quietly and
listen, you slowly find your own way to join in, much like a child with a
wooden spoon learning to tap along to music.
I would not say I have achieved everything by sailing the Atlantic Ocean as
there is of course always more to everything but it has undoubtedly been
life changing. The other members of crew of course all have their own
thoughts and dreams. It must be a remarkable feeling for Dad (Manny) as he
practically rebuilt this boat and everything in it, knowing you have
achieved so much with your own motivation must be an incredible 'tick' off
the list, but then of course these kind of people will carry on dreaming up
new and more ambitious challenges to satisfy their enquiring minds. Uncle
Vic is a real pirate now, we always knew he was one really but he's very
attached to his parrot now and his mind must be a million miles from ours
now as he has bashed his old sea demons back into a deep wet locker near the
bottom of the sump where they now know their place and will no longer plague
his mind with old salty tricks from the bottom of the ocean. At least Dad
and I had the chance to sail previously and then plenty of time on land to
digest the information and do a great deal of mental preparation before the
big one but Uncle Vic he has taken this challenge head on and emerged the
Victor, which of course was his name all along.
I know we have all had immense pleasure in reading mail from all our friends
and relatives and I personally thank you all for helping to send the
Cockle's dreams into orbit.
Best Wishes,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Alex Cockle