Noon position twenty ninth June 47:39.3N 015:13.4W
Days run by log 130 miles Yippee again
Dear Reader,
I took a sextant sight today and was really pleased that it was only 0.6
mile away from my GPS position. Not bad for a plastic sextant!
Where was I?..................ah yes the cunning plan.
My hands are getting really bad lately, lots of splits and cracks. Must be
all that washing up in salt water and handling the ropes. I try to take care
of them but my numptyness often gets the better of me. Here's an example. I
sit there trying to read.......hands get sore turning the pages. Great idea
use the Vaseline intensive care.............smothers hands liberally. Lets
have a cuppa tea. Trying to operate the gas lighter with its slider turns it
into a freshly caught Mackerel. Chase it round the floor and manage to
secure it with two tea towels kept for the very purpose.Manage to find the
control through tea towels and light gas. Examine hands and deduce that most
of intensive care has departed to Tea Towels. Whilst kettle is boiling top
up intensive care. Pour water in mug (good anti numpty measure it has a
rough grippy handle)
Pick up tea to relax, and enjoy the read ,and watch in slow motion as mug
handle twists 45 degrees in residual cream not noticed on the inside of
finger. Spill tea..........jump up spill more with overcompensation as mug
is gyrating like a well oiled bearing. Shout F***k and grab tea towels for
special purpose. Wipe everything down and look at hands which are dry and
cracked again..................and so it goes on.
Anyway it doesn't matter as I have decided to become an old sea dog. You
know the sort (or should I say salt),. Knarled fingers like shrub roots, the
kind of thing you would rather wittle than shake. Full bushy beard with long
lost Japanese sniper waiting for war to end. Thick blue woolly sweater
embroidered with pipe ash and curry stains from around the world. The greasy
steamer captains hat handed down for generations and given to you as a boy
stoker. And finally the pants in wellington boots of an age and description
you can't quite put your finger on , but you have to admire the fancy rope
braided belt with finely whipped ends..............................doesn't
sound like me does it...................no I will have to banish Numpty and
drink tea at non hand times.........although he has been involved with the
washing up procedure but I'll save that for later.
Where was I ......................ah yes the cunning plan?
No I think I shall just stay the same Happy Hippie . I still remember when
we were going to change everything and have world peace. Now here's a
thought. If the people of all of the Religions in all the world followed
their basic rules or commandments we would be living in
paradise...................or was that the idea of the Garden of Eden????
Yes but enough of the moralising you say...........what about the cunning
plan for the gale. Well it was simple. I had this inflatable Sumo Wrestlers
suit which I would don and inflate just before the wind started shrieking.
Then I could just bounce around the cabin shouting "Bring it on, Bring it
on" Unfortunately, on the practice run I got wedged in the hatch when I
tried to adjust sails. I had to puncture the suit with the rescue knife, to
extract myself, as the
valve had become buried in a fat roll. Its now stored in the Numpty cupboard
with
the other regalia.
But I have another cunning plan and I'm going to tell you! This last day or
so heading North instead of west was for a purpose. When the wind howls I
shall turn downwind, shout Geronimo, aim for Alderney and have a cup of
tea, sans Vaseline
intensive.................what do you think...............cunning or what!
Oh yeah I'll talk about the food tomorrow.
Bye for now
Berni
|
