12 days of Christmas
Panatlantic
Sat 15 Dec 2007 14:28
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How do, Gentlefolk?
i trust this finds you well, this finds us in the
middle of some wonderfully impressive seas! It is astounding to behold your
entire horizon heaving up into the sky, carrying a volume of water so vast as to
boggle the mind; giant plateaus of water atop of which one finds a microclimate
of winds and waves, all hurtling along with unimaginable power. The oceanic
swell must be approaching 40ft, though the waves aren't as large or violent as
our first few days. It is charging southwards, almost on our beam as we pootle
on westwards. Each huge upwelling of water, travelling so fast to a destination
on the other side of the Ocean suddenly seems to swing around in a giant arc at
our stern just at the moment it's about to pass us, the result of local winds,
seemingly veering to engulf us having spotted out tiny vessel in its
periphery.
I have just spent the most marvellous hour rowing,
marvelling at the spectacle before me. Earlier this morning as i was changing
our trim again, James suddenly piped up: "By Jove! There's our first shark!!" I
looked over the gunwale and there, next to us was a huge dorsal fin and a long
protruding snout, a wonderful blue/green colour and really quite impressively
proportioned. Something didn't quite add up though, it didn't have a tail! What
we saw must have been some kind of sun fish, that somehow spotted us on its
passage through the pelagos. We also saw our first red billed tropic bird today,
wonderful creatures that they are!
Having just received and read one of the funniest
Christmas parodies from our colleagues, i decided it was about time i composed a
little something about our time out here, so here we go: The 12 Days of
Christmas....
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to
me
An arse hole that was hair free!
On the second day of Christmas my true
love sent to me
two rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair free!
On the third day of Christmas my true love
sent to me
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair free!
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to
me
Four Neorofen,
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair
free! On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to
me
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
Four Neorofen,
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair
free! On the sixth day of Christmas my true love
sent to me
Six pots of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
Four Neorofen,
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair free!
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love
sent to me
Seven tubs of sudacream
six pots of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
Four Neorofen,
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair
free! On the eighth day of Christmas my true love
sent to me
Eight bars of soap
Seven tubs of sudacream
six pots of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
Four Neorofen,
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair
free! On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to
me
9 solar showers
8 bars of soap
Seven tubs of sudacream
six pots of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
Four Neorofen,
Three waxing kits
2 rubber rings
and an arsehole that was hair
free! On the tenth day of Christmas my true love
sent to me
10 pints of lager
9 solar showers
8 bars of soap
7 tubs of sudacream
6 post of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
4 Neurofen
3 waxing kits
2 rubber rings
And an arse hole that was hair
free! On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love
sent to me
11 hours of sleep
10 pints of lager
9 solar showers
8 bars of soap
7 tubs of sudacream
6 post of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
4 Neurofen
3 waxing kits
2 rubber rings
And an arse hole that was hair
free! On the twelth day of Christmas my true love sent to
me,
A 12 ounce steak
11 hours of sleep
10 pints of lager
9 solar showers
8 bars of soap
7 tubs of sudacream
6 post of vaseline
5 WEEKS AT SEA!
4 Neurofen
3 waxing kits
2 rubber rings
And an arse hole that was hair free!
Apt!
Things are well, apparently the woodvale site has
us having slowed a bit these past 2 days, which perplexes us as we haven't
really! I don't know what perameters they use to calculate our positon, but
we're happy enough with our progress for the time being and are well settled
into the routine.
Bog yoga is getting easier, i have resolved to
perform the 'lotus' while using the toilet bucket and rowing, at the same time,
by the time we get to Antigua... i have just about mastered rowing, and am
coming to grips with using the bucket (individually i might add), but am having
trouble with the lotus, is there a trick to it or something?
The nights continue to provide us with great
fireworks displays as (i am reliably informed by a family friend) Gemini throws
meteors at us. Every night has been similar though, with as many shooting stars
as i have ever seen: white ones, huge green ones with wonderful long tails, and
i even saw a red one that broke up and split in to two burning balls of cosmic
dust, quite something to behond! While staring at Gemini i took the liberty of
reading the stars for those of you born under the sign of the twins: In the next
week you will meet someone who may or may not have a good and/or bad effect on
your work or personal life; you will seek your friends or family to speak to
about matters concerning yourself; you should eat well and do plenty of
exercise to maximise your shakras.
It is superb at night with the phosphorescence
below and the stars above. Sometimes the water glows intensely some distance
from the boat, as an unseen monster investigates our little boat.
Each night Orion comes up at about 8pm in the East,
by 1am the plough is almost wholly over the horizon, pointing as it does to the
pole star, far lower in the sky and far dimmer than at higher latitudes. James
has been telling me how the position of the stars alters just slightly each
evening, proof that they don't revolve around us and that we are not at the
centre of teh universe, a fact that was first discovered by Copernicus and which
shook our anthropocentric view of the universe to the core: were the heavens not
designed for us? Was everything on earth not designed for the servitude of
mankind? James has impressed upon me how this was the first great moment in
shattering this previously held view of humanity and its place in the cosmos.
Thanks James.
Right, well we're very low on power again so i
won't waffle on any more here. James will rejoin you tomorrow. Until that time,
have a lovely weekend, partake in what adventures you can, and enjoy being
agglomerations of spiralling coils of self-replicating DNA, eking out an
existence on a tiny blue planet, one of billions like it, in an obscure
corner of one of millions of galaxies in the one universe that we can prove
exists!
Toodle Do,
Niall
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