same old same old
Red Arrow
Rich Hume & Tom Barnes
Mon 15 Mar 2010 13:52
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Hi guys,
I genually believed this would be my last blog on
saturday as the weather forcast suggested that we would have a hard day sunday
but good weather monday and tuesday. Well, i HOPED, the good weather would
return, and it hasnt! We are currently 113 miles from the finish doing 1 mile an
hour!!! I cant tell you how soul destroying i am finding it. Our arrival date
has now been pushed back again, and so at this pace, saturday morning it will
be. I also believe BA are going on strike next weekend, so desperate to get
home, it looks like i might not be able to, lets hope that one gets over turned
as well.
When the news arrived last night that the weather
might not change until wedneday, my heart sank like crazy and although i
completed the next three shifts, as per normal, i was holding back the tears. I
just dont understand why us, and the rest of the fleet are being treated like
this. As i returned to the cabin to write this and read a few other emails, the
tears began to flow, uncontrolably at first, but feeling a bit better now.
I dont know why i keep telling you these things,
you dont need to know but mentally, ive gone. I thought that it would be tom who
would probalby crack during this trip, but no, its me. I rowed with a real heavy
heart this morning and thinking it might be all the paracetomal im taking to
help me get over the pain of my bum and having lost most of the skin on my left
teasticle (again you dont need to know that, but honesty works well here, and
besides, there's no one else to share it with here!), im beginnig to think it
might be the last of my soul leaving my body.
We keep getting texts saying that we are nearly
there and that we have done amazingly etc. There great, they really do give us a
boost so do keep them coming, but the fact is, that although we are nearly
there, we arent there, and the slower we go, the further it all seems. All we
need is a 2 day window of good conditions and we can cover the ground, easly. I
just dont know when and cant see why or where the change will come from. There
isnt a cloud in the sky just this steady southerly wind battering us from the
side.
The most exciting thing that has happened is that
we had a bird land on the front of the boat a few days ago and stay there all
night, it was kinda cool until the morning and i found bird crap all over the
front. We also had a swim yesturday but all that did was rinse the suncream off
and sting the, you know what, i mentioned earlier!
And thats about it. I wanted to write all my thank
yous but i will leave that to my last blog, whenever that will be. If, by a
miricle the weather does change, i will write it from land and tell you how im
adapting. Hopefully well but somehow i feel this might ake a while for me to get
over.
But i want to leave you today with a few things.
Frstly, the question mark made by the stars i mentioned very early on, is still
very much there. My faceal hair is growing strong and i fear hiding the visable
signs of weight loss, and although i have flurted with the idea, im still not
sunburnt yet. Finally, i was watching a film last night night and came across
this quote, i thought it sumed things up quite well:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light,
not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the
world, there is nothing inlightened about shrinking so that other people
wont feel insecure around you, we were all ment to shine as children do, its not
just in some of us, its in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we
unconsiously give permission to others to do the same as we are liberated from
our own fear. Our pressence automatically liberates others"
I hope sharing my fears and my weaknesses means
that some of you will fight your fears.If they dont, my last few blogs whilst
going so slowly cant have read too easly forf you.
Rich
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