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Date: 18 Feb 2010 12:44:26
Title: Desprite times!

Hello everybody.
Since you have been reading my blogs, i hope i get across to you that i write as i see things for what they are. As a result, can i appoligise in advance for my language as ive had a shit time the last 24 hours.
I feel i must appoligise firstly to tom for having a rant at him at 2am this morning. He talked about stopping and having a rest, I told him where to go! Sorry bud!
Ok, we have made great progress since our big stint on the sea anchor and i was really beginning to feel like antigua was in our sights. More recently, the wind and waves have all been spot on but for some reason we cant move the boat. It is doing my head in!!!!! Last night was aweful, i just wanted to quit. Infact i was ready to jump at one stage with rope in hand as to tow the boat as in  the past i have swam in 2 hours what it has taken us 7 hours to cover.
What have we done to deserve this? I dont know.
When human error meant that we missed our original start date in december, i was mentally in pecies. You work for 3 years to get to a date that then gets taken away from you. I hadnt prepared myself to be rowing mid/late feb, early march and im struggling with it. We have covered 29 miles in 24 hours, its bullshit! At this rate we have around 35-40 more days to run, and i cant even begin to get my head around that. I have had enough.
Im bored with the food, shitting in a bucket, not having walked a step in 45 days, not having had a shower, not having seen anybody else and basically just not being able to value what i have. How much do i long to be walking in Richmond Park right now, i cant even put it into words. We are rowing in glue.
On top of this, we heard charlie pitcher was going so fast that he was covering 70 miles a day. OH, and he isnt even rowing, he's going too fast. Whats fair in that?
I hope it changes, i hope we make progress. I want to go home, i want to get back to my life that has been disrupted for the last 4 months now. I need to earn some money, i need to get out of the sun.
Whats really anoying is that tomrrow we maybe flying and i wont even remeber feeling like this.
It will get better, it needs to get better. This is just how i see it!

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