Fw: The Orphan Chopping Board
Raylah
Jeremy Elsom
Tue 8 Dec 2009 13:53
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I am just an ordinary chopping board that was
given out to adoption by my fist cruel owners,Phil and Sue Betts. I
went to a nice man,Mr Jeremy Elsom,who put me on his boat Red Snapper
,where life was good. I fitted in neatly between the taps and the
fiddle on the worktop and could look out the hatch in the cabin
top. Jeremy took all his meals in restaurants and I was
only used for making sandwithches usually with expensive ingredients.We cruised
leisurely around the British Isles seeing together many beautiful harbours
. I then moved to Jeremy's next boat,Maximus(rustler 36), and
things took a turn for the worst. Suddenly we went on more ambitious journeys to
the Med and then the Atlantic .For the fist time I was thrown across the Cabin
when the boat lurched,I was used as a work bench, ropes were cut on me,andcans
beaten flat. I was even burnt when the frying pan court fire.
I thought that things could not get worse but then
came the move to Raylah ,Jeremy's new Island Packet.We set off across the
Atlantic and pure misery. Chillies,ginger,Garlic and Onions were chopped all
over me.and constantly being thrown about the cabin. I was washed in
sea water and got all salty.Then the dreaded fishing began . I dreaded the
screeching of the reel as the fish took the bait,then it was reeled in and
somebody sent to collect me. Then a
large wet fish was slapped on me and decapitated along with its fins and
tail. UGH i. was covered in blood and fish guts and the smell of Vodka
used to kill the fish, then sluiced down with sea water.Later the same fish
would be cut up ,on me. Then the G and T's caused me to cry every day as the
lemons and limes were cut up all over me.
Anyway I hope to be in St Lucia soon where I can
dry out and rest while they all go off to their restaurants again.
O to be an ordinary breadboard on a Wimpey
estate.
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