Sint Maarten or St Martin?

A year afloat: to the Caribbean and back
Sam and Alex Fortescue
Wed 23 Mar 2011 20:20
We're in St Martin. Or is it Sint Maarten? I'm not sure... it depends which side of an invisible line you are. The island is tiny. But they've managed to fit a lot in. Most of it is rubbish, however. Naturally, the French side is the classier of the two parts. But it's definitely a close run thing. The Dutch side is renowned for being tax free and full of cheap electronics, jewellery, designer ware and so on. A sailor we met in Statia had breathily urged us to visit the huge salt water lagoon that makes up the west side of the island. "It's so full of mega yachts, you'll wonder whether you've stumbled into Monaco and the Bahamas combined. It makes Falmouth Harbour look like a child's dinghy park."
 
It is possible that the owners of all the mega yachts, simultaneously arriving by helicopter, sailed away for the week. Thus far, the mega yacht count reads a fairly paltry (poultry - squawk!) tally of half a dozen smallish motor boats. On the other hand, the tacky-bar-that-you'd-never-go-into-even-on-a-stag-do count has reached astronomic proportions. I imagine it to be a mixture of Cancun and Nassau at spring break. It's not an English thing, like Marbella or Bognor, but a deeply, incomprehensibly American thing. Alex likened it to Los Angeles, where every street is a main road, and every establishment is passed by a stream of noisy, smelly traffic. If what you want is two Heinekens for the price of one, however, or a dollar burger, then this is it. Even the French side feels decidedly ungallic - most people address you in English and seem happy with dollars.
 
We had planned to do our revictualling for the next few months here, because it is supposed to be cheap for food with no port dues to pay. Unfortunately, the French have cottoned on to the fact that boats were anchoring up in their waters to go shopping on the Dutch side and slapped a €20 'welcome tax' on for visiting yachts. Added to the taxi fare to Philipsberg on the dutch side, it was suddenly not looking so clever. And by the time we realised that the only way you could get a sensible price for something was by buying in bulk, it was all far too late.
 
So, the tally so far:
- cheap shopping: 0
- free anchoring: 0
- tacky strip malls: dozens
- dubious-looking drinking establishments: far too many
- desire to leave: strong
 
On the plus side, it's been a real experience here, and the people spotting has been excellent. Also in the 'credit' column, although no thanks to the island, is the fact that my belated application for a US visa has been completed and sent off, with a view to having the mandatory interview in the Bahamas. On the other hand, we've realised that Alex can no longer expect to be allowed in as a 'returning citizen' simply by waving her New York birth certificate.
 
We leave late tonight for Virgin Gorda, in the British Virgin Islands. If all goes well on the 80-mile passage, we should be seeing Alex's dad and Ian and Dominique Allen on Saturday in Tortola.