Part Two:  Sydney and Beyond ...September to November 2007

 

 

 

 

Sydney….An Unlikely Return ‘Home’…..! 

 

I was feeling a bit ‘islanded out’, needing a break from the Spanish / Portuguese, ‘tapas, queso y jamon’ diet, and had just over two months ‘to kill’ before I would be able to set off for the Caribbean. It seemed like a good opportunity to ‘wander back’ to Sydney for a reconnection with my valued Australian friends, a Wanderer ‘reference check’, and a dose of big city life again!

 

What awaited me was just an amazing six weeks, feeling very at home, wonderful bonding back with my special friends. Somehow for the first time, I felt really peaceful with Sydney and Australia. (Also had a HUGE amount of fun times, most of this not appropriate to be covered in the pages of this letter, but definitely claiming permanent, life time memory status!)

 

For those that have immigrated and have struggled with the ‘foreign-ness’, loss of friends and lack of networks, you will know it can be a very challenging process. One is full of feelings of loss, no belonging, loss of status, and ‘trout syndrome’…that feeling of always swimming upstream to get to the still water! Like many others before me, on landing in Australia in 1997, I also went through this, initially thinking it was just me, but then realizing it had nothing to do with me, nor Australia, nor Australians…..It’s just one being exposed to serious personal change, and how we humans react to it!  

 

With the benefit of my now, more global, Wanderer’s perspective, I was able to understand Australia better, the cultural issues and contextualize the country’s place in my life past and ahead. Sydney hit me this time back, as a very beautiful and livable city, as far as big cities go, something I had forgotten, or never could see through the turbulence induced opaqueness of the water, as I struggled upstream! 

 

For my six weeks I chose to have two distinctly different Sydney city living experiences….One, a south Sydney beaches experience, and two, a REAL inner city experience. Split three weeks each, they showed me new sides of Sydney, allowing me to access people and lifestyles I hadn’t experienced before. Having a car in Sydney is a nightmare, and with a fairly busy social schedule I was either relying on friends’ kindness, or using the Sydney public transport system. Given how easily I was sucked into the buzz of Sydney social life, either way I was happy to not have to worry about being pulled over by the ever present Sydney cops and asked to blow into the dreaded breathalyzer pipe! 

 

Having left Sydney and the trappings of the material world in 2004, I was a little apprehensive as to how ‘The Wanderer’ would feel arriving back to face the realities of my decision to (prematurely??) stop work, and move onto my current, ‘homeless’ path with supposedly, “No significant purpose”! How surprisingly easy it was though….

 

…..Clearly, the past three years has been good for me, and some of the peace I felt with Sydney, was that I no longer saw it as a place where I compete in business, social status, and material wealth stakes. I felt I had something else that was more valuable to me now....Real back to the basics, life challenging experiences that affected how I think about others and my own life…… I had real freedom, time to do what I want, accountability to nobody, and a ‘cleaner’ soul!

 

 It was hugely empowering to wake up one day and to realize I can ‘just live by MY definition of integrity and MY values’. I could do ‘whatever I want’ in this city, because unlike when I was sucked up in the unspoken competitions of the material world, nobody can trash my name, make my life difficult, renege on an important promise / commitment, or prevent me from moving along the course I’m on! What I want from life was not on ‘their’ radar screens, let alone me seen as competing for ‘their’ patch. The competition was gone, and replaced by a freedom to ‘just be’ who I really am.  Basically I had no need for the unspoken about, but sadly alive and well, Favour bank! The stuff for which politicians need a plethora of ATM cards! I’d ‘give’, if the other person was genuinely interested in receiving, and ‘receive’, if the other had an ‘unconditional intent’ on giving. In conversation I could tell others, things as ‘I saw them’, and not how the other ‘wanted to hear’. Sometimes the result wasn’t excitedly received, but like their views, it always was respected and almost always valued. I realised I had misread the readiness to receive of those that didn’t value it.

 

Many of you may be thinking, “What’s new? That’s how I lead my life anyway”, or “He is disconnected from society and reality and has lost it”?? If it’s the former, you probably know you have achieved something very special and sacred. If it’s the latter, well yes, I am living ‘out there’, not belonging anywhere, but it’s, ‘not forever’, but the extreme perspective is what delivers the special mind space, and provides me with the new reference points for my ‘re-connection’. I will eventually ‘land’ somewhere when the time is right!

 

 

More Sydney Insights……Competition, Polygamy, and Money Laundering….

 

 

An unlikely group of subjects, but ones that Sydney helped me explore…so here are my humble insights:

 

The concept of ‘Competition’, more specifically one human competing against another to the point where winning is at the expense of the other, was something I thought about a huge amount in Sydney. Probably of all the reference points I checked out, this was the one that had changed the most…. For the first time in my life I started questioning whether competing against others, in whatever, was inappropriate and / or just plain, primitive? I was fortunate to get back into playing a lot of squash while in Sydney, mainly against a female friend of mine, who competes at a very high level. This was initially a challenge in itself, as I think my well know, ‘do or die’ running game was initially seen as a desperate attempt not to lose to a woman! Inside me it was clear I had been through a metamorphous since I last played competitively 5 years ago…The primary objective was no longer to win, but rather to have fun and a hard ‘run around’. I then supported her at a high level, albeit veteran level squash tournament, and was amazed as to the seriousness of the competition. Virtually all the competitors had a, win at ALL costs, approach and many of whom were in their fifties and even sixties. In my view, the level of serious psychological warfare that went on, from umpire / opponent sledging, injury shaming, and attempts at blatant cheating, were way over the top for the prize at stake, but clearly necessary to inflict a loss on the opponent. Taking this to the extreme was the 68 year old mother of Mark and Steve Waugh, who lost in a bitter 5 setter semi-final against my friend!  I was always a huge admirer of Steve Waugh, and his clinical, mental dominant, iron fisted approach to winning cricket matches, and now I realize that this is a deep gene trait!  On reading the local daily newspapers, watching TV (very unusual for me!), and interacting with people, I was struck how many of the messages emanating were very much focused on ‘social competition’, around wealth, celebrity and material status. I wondered if I had ‘got soft’ or just had found a different path?    

 

On the issue of ‘Polygamy’, I was fortunate to catch up with one of my real, out there on the fringe and interesting friends, who was excited to tell me about her new book she is about to launch, titled ‘Alternate Mating’. (I have a feeling that the title will be changed before publishing) Her book starts with the view that the traditional marriage is failing so often in our ever changing complex world, that a new relationship model, which goes beyond the ‘one soul-mate provides all’ goal, is needed. She proposes a flexible polygamous framework centred on a core value system of REAL openness and trust, with all parties involved. In the context of this framework one customizes the model to one’s specific relationship needs and circumstances, formalizing commitments and expectations to a level that are realistic, valued and provide meaningful boundaries for minimizing partner overlap conflict. Hmmm… ! I hear many of you say….. Well, I was asked to read the book and provide my pre-publishing comments, and all I can say is that it made a lot of sense and ‘The Wanderer’ had his thinking and belief system challenged!!

 

The concept of polygamy has been around from way back and is well understood by all. The concept of an affair or flings within marriage are common place and are largely accepted as being prevalent, almost ‘Ok’ in the society of our liberal world. Yet, after reading my friends book, I thought she was basically challenging the world to put aside cowardice and openly admit the ‘huge polygamy situation’ that de facto exists, and then provide a framework for ALL affected parties to be involved in decision making relating to their self respect and relationship boundary setting. For all parties involved this requires the ABSOLUTE highest level of openness, honesty and trust, something I feel society is shying more and more away from.

 

As a finale:  In a survey done recently, 90% of couples interviewed said they had a monogamous belief system, and could never see themselves moving to a polygamous one. Of the same survey community 50% said they were either in an affair, had ‘recently had one’, or occasionally had intimate interactions with other members of the opposite sex. Is this where I am too black and white, but…?. In most circles of society it’s not socially acceptable to be positioned as a polygamist, but it ok to be a practicing one, but claim a monogamous belief system.  We are either a society of largely liars, or one with weak belief systems? Maybe it time to bring on the ‘Belief System Police’, or accept the realities of our society and openly change belief systems to embrace new models that can deal with our complex world’s challenges. Maybe that’s what World Wars do?….The suffering they bring takes society bake to the basic values, having the same effect as setting the Belief Police! Hmmm….. If it only it was so simple!!  

 

The bit on ‘Money Laundering’ is also closely related to the changing world and how ‘bad’ and untrusting it has become. I realize that many of you are probably working in business environments where what I am about to talk about is second nature, and ‘No News’ sorry, and just skip this section! However, as the ‘bureaucracy hating’  ‘Wanderer’, I found my Sydney experience in this area nothing short of ‘Astonishing’:

 

New Anti Money Laundering (AML) legislation is coming into play in Australia in January 2008, and as you probably know, this is part of a world drive to tighten up the flow and control of money and taxes. Well the net is being woven so tight that apparently JUST to be able to invest money in an offshore fund, it now takes up to three weeks, a huge flow of paper, and A$1000 to comply with the new AML requirements before your investment funds are accepted! That’s the direct cost to the investor, and in the iceberg analogy, it’s just the tip!  Financial services companies are required to have AML licences now….these involve huge amounts of documents, controls, and procedures. A cynical positive being job creation, with the AML Responsible Officer, a director level appointment overseeing sometimes a troupe of bureaucrats!….Someone in the chain has to pay for all this, and we all know who?? One of my friends who is the AML Responsible Officers in large financial services organization admitted that this is sadly the continuing end to management discretion… the fines for non adherence to AML procedures and License conditions forces ‘zero tolerance compliance’.

 

These ‘Know Your Client’ (KYC)  requirements as they are broadly referred to, pose huge challenges to a Wanderer, like me who is homeless, country ‘resident-less’, and is never in one spot for more than a month at a time!  I guess it’s all designed to make the world a safer and more honest place…let’s hope it doesn’t kill it in the process!!

 

Enough philosophy……back to travels…..          

 

 

From ‘Down Under’ to the ‘Top of Europe’….. November in Wengen!

 

 

With my mind over stimulated from big city Sydney life, I jetted out to be 10 days with Ruth, at her Swiss chalet in wonderful Wengen. For those that don’t know it’s a quaint Swiss village, at the base of the Mt Eiger and Jungfrau, almost ‘last stop’ on the famous train to the top of Europe. Being November, it was like a ghost town, with tourists and locals both away ‘resting’ before the late November start of the ski season.

 

Some of you may know the area…. The whole Lauterbrennan Valley area, of which Wengen is one of maybe 15 towns / villages, is a paradise for Base jumpers and Para gliders.  I was surprised at the level of Base jumping activity during the snow. We would be walking along the base of the valley in light snow, when suddenly a flash in the back corner of the eye, followed by a loud virtual explosion, signaled the safe chute opening of one of these crazy base jumpers. These roulette players, jump off the 1000m vertical glacial valley walls, sometimes having their chutes open literally as they land on the valley floor. Each to his own hey!

 

The Cliff the base jumpers jump off!

 

With few people and traffic around, and the environment just perfect for alpine touring, we were in our elements taking day trips on our mountain bikes, around the broader Interlaken area. Midway through our stay, the first major snow dump of the season happened and the next few days the village atmosphere changed to one of eager anticipation of an early start to the skiing season. For us it was time to pack the bikes away, and we took out the snow shoes heading off for wonderful walks in the virgin snow, returning to Swiss cuisine and. The debates around the fire, with Swiss cuisine and a bottle of hearty red, ranging from sailing, to the sub prime problem, polygamy and monogamy, and what model she advises her teenage sons!

 

Some of the scenery around Wengen

 

 

A Nostalgic stop in Malaga and then onto Solone and La Gomera

 

The south coast of Spain, being on the route from Zurich to the Canary Islands, I decided to spend a week with my long time sailing friends, who live in a delightful little village, called La Herradura, 80km east of Malaga,. This was virtually my home for four months in 2006, so it was great to re-connect and share memories, and the mandatory few seco vino blancos! On top of that, being able to swim in the Mediterranean was a lovely warm contrast from Switzerland, and a taste of the pleasant weather awaiting me in the Canaries.

 

From there it was direct to Tenerife, for a ferry connection to San Sebastian and Solone, where I am now preparing for my Atlantic Crossing.

 

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Finally:   I hope it doesn’t come across as me being on an extravagant, or a life for only the wealthy, but I promise you, its not…Wealth relativity accepted too! I can honestly say that it’s a very simple life, with few of the overhead costs that I see city life consuming. The biggest challenge for me was walking away from the pursuit of increasing wealth and material possessions…the trappings of the capitalistic world. Yes, I was there too, but on hindsight have justified my previous pursuit of financial goals, as providing the means to buy the freedom of time, I now have, rather as a means of building material grandeur.  I often get asked what it takes financially to be a ‘Wanderer’, and people are usually surprised at my answer, as they realize it’s not nearly as much as they thought, and they could do it too! With this info, and a fairly radical option available to them,  I see many then many people thinking through what they really want to do with the rest of their lives…..a process that seems to invigorate, and bring  huge clarity of purpose, allowing bigger decisions to flow. Many, unlike me are content with today, and where it’s going? Maybe I secretly are envious of my Australian friends who embrace the concept of ‘It paradise here so don’t change anything,. The chant is:     “She’ll be right mate”!

 

 

 Humba Kahle!

(Go safely…in Zulu)  

 

Howard Fairbank                                                                                                    30 November 2007:                               POS:      28:05.270N 17:06.5454W