Tribute to Hugh Barker - Tim's father

I left Mina2 to return to the Since then I, together with my two sisters, have been busy dealing with his estate and supporting my mother, Noel – his wife of 61 years. Below is the tribute that I read at my father’s funeral. Hugh
Barker 1919 -
2010 “Hugh passed away at 7.45
on the evening of the 1st of January. He died as he had lived – with
bravery and dignity. And he died at home with Noel and all three of his children
around him. It was very peaceful. A perfect ending to a long and fulfilled
life. Born in
Those are the headlines.
But who was the man behind the headlines? Everybody loved Hugh. He was a
supremely lovable person. Interested as well as interesting, his life was full
of achievement and incidents which he didn’t talk about much. He was born with dodgy hips, and pain
was a constant companion for much of his life. But he never complained. Reading
the many letters of condolence sent to Noel, it comes as no surprise that a
recurring word used to describe Hugh is “Gentleman”. Some people have divided
the word, to describe Hugh as a “Gentle Man” – and that he
was. Hugh had an extraordinary
brain and an almost photographic memory - particularly a memory for verses and
rhymes. We were used to being entertained by renditions of “Albert and the Lion”
but it was at my stag party more than 30 years ago that Hugh sat himself on the
bar at Ranelagh Sailing Club and amazed and delighted all my friends and me by
reciting from memory, and without a pause, all 61 verses of “Eskimo Nell”! He
later confessed that the last time he had recited it was more than 20 years
before. Even when he was in
hospital last month, Georgie and Noel were boasting about their mental agility.
“The ultimate test” said Georgie “is to see how long it takes to recite the
alphabet backwards”. Noel and Georgie struggled and failed. Hugh opened his
half-drugged eyes and without error zipped from Z to A in about 2.5 seconds.
Point made. He also had an
inexhaustible repertoire of jokes. And no one appreciated his jokes more than
Hugh himself. He had barely delivered the punchline, before his face had creased
up and his shoulders were heaving with silent laughter at his own
joke. As a family man he was a
wonderful father to Linda, Georgie and me, and a loving grandfather to our six
children. But his greatest role was as the unswervingly loyal and devoted
husband of Noel. Marks &
Spencer, Morecambe & Wise – eat your hearts out. The greatest double act was
Hugh & Noel. It was a fairytale of love at first sight. Hugh proposed to
Noel after only two days, and Noel enthusiastically accepted. Complete opposites
in every respect, Hugh and Noel were the perfect complement for each other and
they lived by the promises they made to each other more than 61 years ago: to love and to cherish for better or for worse,
for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. They shared everything. It
was the perfect partnership. Hugh was unique. Hugh is
irreplaceable. Hugh’s death will leave a hole in all of our lives, but none more
so than for Noel. She will need, and she will get, enormous support over the
coming months, not only from her family but also from the enormous number of
friends she shared with Hugh. In celebrating Hugh’s life
today, we cherish the memories of a wonderful, brave, warm, witty, kind, clever
and generous man. Hugh – we will all miss you
enormously.” |