18:54N 26:42 COG 250ish
Big league now for Mojomo, world premier posting on the ARC site. Quite
nice atmosphere in here, eh? Anyway that's enough chitchat, on with the
show, bu ms on seats, rating war etc.
Our story begins in the hellish Atlantic Ocean with 50knot gales and bad
acting. Obviously not 50knots gales here, just some of the crew snoring but
we've gotta make it look good.
Have you thought about buying some more junk for your boat? Hm? I know I
have. Whenever i have a few quid to spare, or even just a credit card, i
always go to the Local Boat Shop, buy somethying i didn't know existed or
which i already have and justify the purchase with some pathetic logic along
the lines of having a spare one for extra safety. Or perhaps that the ARC
told me to buy it. So, don't forget go along to YOUR local boat shop to
some witless purchase and help the owner upgrade his car, okay?
Today, three of the crew went overboard. Yes they did, really! No, we're
not making it up!! THREE people adrift in the North Alantic and only two
left on board. Read the other blogs and check out how many went overboard
on THOSE boats. None, I bet. Hah! We carefully orgainsed the large number
of crew to go over the side as a Big Event to coincide with our commercial
debut on the ARC site. Brilliant. Okay, so we went swmming. Stopped the
near-zero wind, two of us jumped off the hardtop, bit iffy cos it's 4 metres
high and you have go for it to clear the davits, ooer. Nobody weas eaten by
sharks, but we only jumped in and got out straight away. Twice, seeing as
how no sharks the first time. Me, James and Elly went in, but Glyn and
Laura who work on boats for a living decided they might need ther arms and
After the break, it's time for comedy.
Have you got any old unwanted diesel? Perhaps in the garage or in the boat?
Even just a half-empty spare can? You have? Good news! Mojomo will buy
ALL your old unwanted diesel - and at well above the market price - for
CASH!!! Yes, CASH!!! For the thickos amongst you, think of ten, twenty and
even fifty pound notes all fluttering around. Yeah, that's the stuff, cash,
gottit? Anyway, just drop it round to us at or around 19N 27W anytime for
the best price anywhere!! You can find Mojomo easily - we're the catamaran
with clingfilm over the guardrails for an extra 0.1kt - or if it's dark just
look for our blubber-fuelled lantern at the stern and crew pointing torches
at sunburned legs/cabbage for port/stbd lights.
And now, Comedy Time. Yes, Glyn made lunch and dinner. His breadmaking for
lunch was going very well, perhaps too well. So just for a laugh he opened
the oven for a few minutes halway through cooking it.. Result - sinky
bread. Ho ho. Quite nice though. In the evening he made Pepper Food.
Another hoot. Make some food and then drown it in pepper. It certainly got
us. He's in his bunk now, probably sniggering about how much pepper he put
on everything, just loads and loads! And nobody said a word cos we're all
Tomorrow in the comedy hour, we're going to take the boat in a big circle
for 5-10 minutes starting at about 11:57 GMT, so that the yellowbrick info
for Mojomo makes it look as though we're heading back to Las Palmas and the
data will be even weirder than normal. What's that 10knots VMG start about?
We've not done 10 knots ever. Heyho.
Are you a bit tired of looking at the arc fleet map with 250 boats plastered
on the sceen - when what you really want to do is look at one boat, or one
class? Well, just this afternoon, James (who works in mapping systems etc)
put together a fabulous app to do just this. Quite fabulous. Lovely big
chart, all zoomable, all the classes coloured different, click on a boat and
show the info in a little box, it's fab. Special Offer till we arrive in
St Lucia: 20litre litres of diesel per user! REDUCED from 40litres.
How about that for an opening post, eh? Tune in again for more about Mojomo.
If you missed an episode, it might be on our blog, something like
blog.mailasail/mojomo although we did have to delete some stuff which didn't
get good ratings or which got a bit much for some viewers.
And do please text us. Or email us. Let us know what you think. We don't
guarantee that we'll care what you think, but there is a possibility that
we'll use it to pad things out and you'll be Famous, a bit. Or ridiculed.
Commercial Break and Close
Do you believe in God? And does God answer your prayers? If so, any chance
you could put in a word about sorting out some wind for us? Or maybe you
actually ARE God, in which what the flippinek is going on, hm? It's
supposed to be NE trades innit? Late November, duh? Alternatively, we
could do with knowing how to do that trick when the water turns into wine,
but slightly altered recipe to change seawater into diesel. Thanks.
Not yer usual ARC blog eh? Note: the Arc staff have to check this so we
can't put in any of the horrendous jokes sent to us by Patrick, who should
have been on board but the fool busted his foot in the restaurant stairs at
a farewell "I'm Off On The ARC" meal a couple of weeks ago.