Dear Dr Gill
Re: I Can't Believe It's A Navigational Butter Research Project.
Thank you for your recent correspondence on this matter and I recognise that
you and the Board didn't feel the project offered worthwhile basis for
government-sponsored funding.
However, I have renewed hope that you will reconsider your (I do feel) hasty
decision. I suppose one couold say that we've tried the "buttering you up"
approach
so now it's time for the "falling face down on the floor" tactics.
To put it bluntly, we've got your kids. We organised for a very efficient
gentleman and his friends to abduct them a short while ago. They'll be
released
as soon as we can reach a more mutually agreeable solution to our research
funding request than your previous (it must be said) somewhat negative
response.
I do apologise for this presumably alarming and probably unorthodox approach
to our research funding application, and I do hope that you won't take it
personally. Even though it is, it must be said, very personal indeed.
However,
you will appreciate that it is a competitive market and I trust that these
new circumstances will encourage you and the Board to reconsider our
application forthwith.
To extend your restauraunt analogy, you failed to understand that the waiter
is not
in charge of anything - his role is simply to deliver the money (sorry, I
mean butter).
Our Bank details are attached. We await your reply soonest.
Reggie (nee Kray)
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