Made it

Bardeau returns across Atlantic
Robert Bard
Thu 20 Dec 2012 00:54
Paul we made it. Got in last Sunday and been celebrating all week ! I haven't heard anything from you and just checking you are ok !
Robert
On 18 Sep 2012, at 03:52, Mailasail <Bardeau {CHANGE TO AT} Mailasail {DOT} com> wrote:

> Well the quest for a Chinese restaurant near the marina failed miserably. Being in training to do the Atlantic I find it important to conserve energy. When Dave said he had an ap that had sniffed out such a target at half a kilometre I reluctantly agreed to expend some of my energy reserve. 4 miles and well over an hour later of 'well it says it's near here ' from Dave we collapsed into an Irish Pub in Las Palmas high street where there was more chance of seeing a leprechaun than a native Irishman. My meal came free as even the staff couldn't identify the nature of the meat on my plate that was posing as chicken.
> Yesterday morning saw the commencement of the Anglo Spanish wars. Having arrived accidentally in the correct marina on Sunday naturally there was only a non-English speaking caretaker present who gesticulated wildly and shouted 'choo go der... No derr nixt to leetle boat ' pointing wildly as he said it. So we parked nixt to zee leetle boat which was a rather grimy red hulled (red in better days) catamaran that seemed to be housing some sort of boat people population. The arrival was the equivalent of clint Eastwood walking down the high street of the ok corale with tumbleweed blowing everywhere. Look said an underling... That man's having a deck shower and he's stark b****ck naked ! The Spanish Ambassador who had greeted us climbed back into his dinghy bellowing : 'mañana you go derr' pointing to the marina office. In the morning we inflated the ships dinghy to go across to the office. I supervised the exercise ... Is it ready yet ? Sure you ok with rowing Dundee ? Jeez skip I used to row the local billabong whilst croc wrestling with my right arm'. So off we went. That's nice I thought ... Lotsa people sitting outside the marina office ... Must be a welcoming party ! Wrong. It was a queue of mostly spanish persons to check in. Myself and minder , Dundee , did the unthinkable and queued. An hour later Dundee informs me jeez skip these people aren't queuing... They are pushing in ! I pushed into the office where 3 middle aged pot bellied spanish men were in deep social conversation tucked safely away in the back, whilst a young Spanish girl was attempting to process the assembled mass whilst arranging her social life. Nearly 90 minutes of standing in the 34c heat led to a mini explosion ... I thought back... Fawlty Towers... How would Basil handle this ? I heard myself shouting out 'oi you... Yes you... Come out from behind there there and do some work ... I've stood here one and half hours.. You stood there talking ... Sort this mess.'. He stood up, looked at me in disbelief , shrugged his shoulders and sat down again. Maggie ... What would Maggie have done... I'd started but was being ignored I was in diplomatic no-mans land. 'you are a disgrace ' I heard myself utter in an out of body is this really me saying that experience: ' if you cannot process two yachts what will you do in a few weeks when 260 yachts check in ?' he Gawps at me. The girl doing the checking in carries on chatting to a friend whilst indifferently doing someone else's paperwork. I have been ignored . Defeated actually. I mutter to Dundee that revenge is best served cold and one day I will have it.... It came quite quickly actually. Nearly two hours after arriving at the office I signed the berthing docs for my new berth amongst the worlds boating down and outs. Our pontoon looked like a Chinese junk alley of weird and wonderful craft that people lived on but never went anywhere ... But we were at the end in probably the primest spot in the marina. The Spanish girl has managed to process me without a single word ! I'm impressed ... I study her face and body language. I feel there are things to be learned here in the true art of rudeness.... And it was done so smoothly,,,,
> We row back to the yacht, (Dundee rows). Mr K greets us at the pontoon with a big cheery grin. 'Hi boss a man from the marina has just been to say we must move the boat tomorrow as a larger far more superior yacht will be taking this space' oh yes ? Yes ! And where might I ask did he say we should go? 'over there!' says Mr K pointing another pontoon full of floating flotsam.
> I now reflect I have paid and had docs for the berth.
> Tell them I hear myself say, that the Skipper has gone home.. We move in October.
> Stay tuned for next exciting instalment
>